This Harry Potter Bedroom Set Is Riddikulusly Beautiful, So Get Ready To Go Broke

I don't know about the rest of you, but no high-end furniture retailer is going to tell me what to do. Even this Harry Potter bedroom collection is sold by PBTeen, Pottery Barn's spinoff for people half my age (fine, a little less than half), I still want the entire line. And honestly, it seems a little crazy to spend $200 on a lamp for a child, anyway. Listen, there were adult teachers living at Hogwarts, so don't tell me the decor was strictly for kids, because that's an affront to Professor Minerva McGonagall, who is basically the wizarding equivalent of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and that will not stand.

The retailer offers items for members every Hogwarts house, so whether you're a clever Ravenclaw who knows that pricey bed sheets are a wise investment, a Brave Gryffindor who's not afraid to throw caution to the wind and spend half your paycheck on a mirror, a cunning Slytherin who's planning to steal the money for this stuff from your parents, or a boring Hufflepuff who needs some throw pillows to seem more interesting, there's definitely something for you. Get ready to feel romantic feelings about furniture, because here's PBTeen's take on a common room that you could actually own (assuming your credit limit's high enough):

I die. I want to go to there. This would be like living at Universal Studios full time, only without the lines and the sunburns and the being in Florida.

Maybe you're not looking to recreate an entire room from Harry Potter because you — like me — don't have that kind of disposable income, or because you — also like me — have a spouse who would never in a million years agree to that. There are plenty of single items that could work as a statement piece, and you could just fill in the rest with coordinating IKEA merch.

Your lamewad spouse doesn't even have to know that this is a Patronus bedding set. Maybe you're just an animal lover. And honestly, $119 for a queen size duvet cover isn't all that unreasonable.

Fine, $39.50 for a pillow cover (plus another $22 for the oddly-shaped pillow that fits inside) is a bit steep, but it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and it's totally worth it.

This Golden Snitch clock retails for $49 and is classy AF.

I've wanted a canopy bed since I was 5 years old; it's about damn time I got one. Yes, those are ~twinkly lights~ twisted up in the tulle! And no, sadly, they are not included.

Hedwig lives! Look how regal she is, perched atop a stack of spell books. I could see this lamp at home in a fancy study. But why stop there? Add a smart bulb and a Google Home or Amazon Echo, and you could actually turn it on and off by saying "lumos" and "nox" (and whoa, am I getting ahead of myself here).

Yes, that is the Mirror of Erised itself, and while it won't show you what your heart desires in the reflection, it does have another trick: it opens up to reveal a jewelry cabinet, because people who can drop $399 on a mirror probably have a ton of diadems they need to keep safe.

This has been a little bit of torture, but I have some good news for Harry Potter fans who can't afford Pottery Barn prices. The store's site does offer some free DIY decorating tips and downloadable potion labels for Muggles on a budget. And if you're feeling more ambitious, you can trying making this surprisingly realistic enchanted ceiling out of a black tarp and about $15 worth of arts and crafts supplies, or use a free app and $20 wifi device to turn a thrift store find into a working Weasley clock. Sadly, you will still never be a wizard. But we can pretend!