Building new lives and routines as co-parents is a novel challenge for any family, one that can be overwhelming after the dissolution of a relationship or marriage. Sometimes, in particularly contentious splits, the problems that led to the breakup can fester, maintaining negativity that’s bad for everyone in the long run.
Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be that way. It is possible to develop positive habits that put your kids’ needs first and allow you to move on from the end of your relationship with your co-parent. Here are five habits that separate successful co-parents from bickering exes and how TalkingParents, an app made to improve the lives of co-parents and their kids, can help you establish them.
Establish Routines Everyone Can Depend On
After such a destabilizing event, stability should be your number one goal as co-parents. That means establishing a routine that reflects your custody agreement and sticking to it. TalkingParents has a powerful shared calendar tool that lets you enter recurring events (i.e. dropoffs) and one-offs (i.e. school plays).
Show Your Kids That You Communicate Well
While you might personally never want to say your ex’s name again, your kids will pick up on that kind of weirdness. The better strategy is to mention your co-parent as a collaborator (“I just talked to your mom and…”) and a positive presence in your family’s life (“Make sure you thank your dad for paying for your baseball uniform”). Maintaining a united front will also make it harder for your kids to play you off of each other to get their way.
Keep Conflicts Private
Even if you don’t want to exchange contact information, you can communicate with your co-parent via TalkingParents. It’s an easy way to address conflicts as they arise and do so out of sight of your kids, sparing them the discomfort and stress of watching you squabble out in the open.
Don’t Let Money Become An Issue
Money is a classic topic of disagreement for couples, and it can be a huge impediment to a happy co-parenting relationship. The Accountable Payments tool in TalkingParents makes it easy to send and receive child support payments, field trip fees, money for new school uniforms, and the many other expenses associated with raising a kid. It also creates a court-admissible Record of payments between co-parents, preventing false accusations of non-payment from taking hold.
Keep Meticulous Records
If there is an objective, permanent record of communication and coordination between co-parents, then there’s no room for a he-said, she-said situation to develop. TalkingParents creates an Unalterable Record of every text message, phone or video call, financial transaction, and calendar event between co-parents.
TalkingParents offers Free, Standard, and Premium Plans to fit the needs of any family. To get started, both co-parents must sign up for accounts and match them through the app. Click here for more information.