Parenting

8 Common Signs Your Teen Is Struggling With Their Mental Health (& Some Not-So-Common)
by BDG Studios

I’m pretty sure we can all agree that the last couple of years have been, um, rough. And while living through These Times as an adult is mentally taxing (to say the very least), for teens it just adds to the existing stress of growing up, says ​​Crystal Burwell, PhD, LPC, CPCS, BC-TMH, Director of Outpatient Services for Newport Healthcare Atlanta, one of several evidence-based healing centers for adolescents and families struggling with mental health issues, eating disorders, and substance abuse.

Burwell says that, according to Erik Erikson, a famous developmental psychologist, teens are in an intense phase of psychosocial development as they figure out who they are and where they belong in the world. “Arguably, the human brain isn’t fully developed until ages 21 to 26,” says Burwell. “And the current environmental climate threatens the process of normal development.”

Teenagers living through 2020 and 2021 have witnessed riots, homicides, historic trials, and domestic terrorism — all of which could unfortunately lead to a sense of helplessness, hopelessness, and threaten their sense of safety. On top of that, teens’ mental health is also impacted by social media. Thanks to those powerful algorithms, teens using social apps might be more prone to comparing themselves to their peers, feeling depressed or anxious, or even self-harm or suicide.

In the Before Times it might have been easier for parents to be a stable source of reassurance for their teens, but it’s even more important to do so now.

Besides providing a constant sense of security, parents can also keep a close eye on their teens for signs that something is up. “Make a habit of checking in with your teen even when circumstances may appear to be unremarkable,” says Burwell. “Every teen processes their experiences differently, and your child may be struggling emotionally at times you may not expect.”

When they seem off, make sure they know it’s OK to be vulnerable, sharing their feelings and emotions (obviously, this goes for kids of all genders). From there, you can ask open-ended questions, like the ones below.

  • What three words best describe how you’re feeling right now?
  • What would you like to have less of in your life right now?
  • What would you like to have more of in your life right now?
  • Tell me about the best thing and the worst thing that happened to you this week.
  • What’s the hardest part about being you right now?
  • How can I support you better?

The key is to actually be interested in what they have to say. “Talk less and listen more,” says Burwell. That means holding back on giving advice until they ask for it, she adds. “They might just want to be heard or maybe even weigh their options as they discuss them with you.”

Common Signs Your Teen Is Struggling With Their Mental Health

It’s also worth noting that if these conversations aren’t normal for you both, it’s less likely they’ll feel comfortable opening up no matter what you ask. If that’s the case for you, make a habit of looking out for non-verbal signals your teen is struggling with their mental health, like these:

  1. Sudden disinterest in things once enjoyed
  2. Decreased social interaction with friends and extracurricular activities like sports, clubs, or church groups
  3. Withdrawal from family, increased time isolating
  4. A drop in grades
  5. Fatigue, lack of energy, excessive sleeping
  6. Trouble concentrating
  7. Physical manifestations like headaches, stomach pains, or signs of self-injury like scars, scabs, and cuts
  8. Changes in eating habits

Sure, some of these could be normal-ish teen behavior, but if you see multiple issues from the list above pop up, know that you have options for professional treatment. Start by visiting your primary care provider to learn about which treatment options are best for your teen, whether that be a referral to a therapist, or learning more information about treatment centers.

Less Common Signs Your Teen Is Struggling With Their Mental Health

While those signs above are super common indications that your teen is going through something, you should also watch for less common, more nuanced red flags, such as:

  1. Increased irritability, anger, or emotion
  2. Describing feeling alone, despite being surrounded by people.
  3. Swift changes in how they present themselves to the outside world, versus their internal presentation.
  4. Emotional exhaustion and compassion fatigue (This happens when teens have extended beyond their emotional bandwidth or ability to access coping skills.)
  5. Your teen’s emotional response is significantly disproportionate to the precipitating event. (This occurs when unhealthy emotions build up without an appropriate release.)
  6. Overcompensating for feelings of depression by making self-deprecating jokes. (It’s very common for teens to use humor as a way to mask uncomfortable emotions.)
  7. Expressed feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.

Again, if you notice multiple instances of these signs and you have a strong relationship with your teen, it’s OK to bring up your concerns in a non-judgmental way, says Burwell. “Just tell them you are concerned and that you love and support them,” she adds. If they refuse to talk about it with you or share that their mental health is in a bad place, it might be time to seek professional help.

How To Seek Help For Your Teen

When it comes to finding the right resources, look for therapists that have experience working with teens and training in young adult mental health. They should be licensed and credentialed, and ideally have expertise in a variety of evidence-based modalities.

If you find that regular therapy sessions aren’t enough, consider outpatient therapy. This treatment involves more frequent sessions while the patient lives at home and goes to school. Another option is residential treatment, where teens temporarily stay at a care facility where they focus on their mental health for 30 to 45 days.

No matter what type of therapy you decide is best, or if a heart-to-heart is what they need, keeping an eye out for these signs of a mental health struggle will help you support your teen — even if they don’t realize you’re doing it.