Gwen Stefani Perfectly Sums Up How It Feels To Find Time For Your Passions As A Mom

“I would be leaving my family. And if I didn’t come home with a song, I’d be like, ‘Oh my God, I’m such a loser.’”

Gwen Stefani has a big year ahead of her. She is reuniting with No Doubt for Coachella this summer, and is hoping to release a new album in 2024 as well. It’s a great time for the mom of three, a time where she is really tapping into her creative flow and enjoying her work. But, as so many moms know, really loving your work can sometimes come at a cost. In a new interview with Nylon, Stefani admitted that she often feels “selfish” for wanting to spend time on her career, and has often felt pressure to make the time she spends in the studio worth being away from her family.

Stefani, who shares 17-year-old son Kingston, 15-year-old son Zuma, and 10-year-old son Apollo with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, spoke to Nylon about how motherhood has affected the way she looks at her music. Some days, when her work in the studio didn’t pan out as well as she hoped, she felt like she had wasted her time away from her sons.

“I would be leaving my family. And if I didn’t come home with a song, I’d be like, ‘Oh my God, I’m such a loser — I didn’t have dinner with my family, and I didn’t write a song. I wasted an entire day of my life trying to be in No Doubt again,” Stefani told the magazine.

When the “Don’t Speak” singer had two babies at home, it was especially difficult for her. “I had Zuma and we just kept going in the studio and we ended up writing this record called Push and Shove,” she shared in February during an interview on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her podcast. “And to leave the kids to go do that, I would feel so guilty and selfish. I would go there and like knock my head against the wall and no song would come. And yet, I’m not with my kid, and I’m not good enough to write a freaking song.”

Gwen Stefani with her sons Kingston, Apollo, and Zuma Rossdale and her husband Blake Shelton.Emma McIntyre/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Stefani has since gone on to find her voice in the studio, writing the song “Purple Irises” and performing it with husband Blake Shelton. But she is mindful of how much more it costs her to be creative as a mom. Or really, to get anything done as a mom.

“I told this to Blake the other day: ‘You don’t understand — to be a mom and a wife and then write a record?’ Everybody might be like, ‘Why did it take so long?’ Well, OK, I want to see you try to find five seconds to get creative,” Stefani told Nylon. “It’s so hard to squeeze it into the life that I have. And that’s why I think it’s more special than ever. It’s like when someone says, ‘Oh my God, I got to get my hair colored’ or ‘I got to take a bath today’ after just having a baby. That’s what it’s like for me to do music. It’s that selfish — and special.”

Trying to hold on to your creative self while also raising kids. Gwen Stefani summed it up exactly. It can feel selfish. And special.