Santa Claus

Photo of 5- year child in Santa hat writing letter to Santa. Fireplace, Christmas decorations
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These Hilarious Santa Letters Will Bring You So Much Christmas Cheer

Seriously, how does Santa get through all of these?

Writing letters to Santa Claus is one of the most iconic and memorable experiences of Christmas for many families — the children, of course, benefit, but so do the adults. You can’t beat the memories of reading a hilarious Santa letter from your own kid.

And there seems to be a few different types of kids when it comes to Santa letters. There are the sweet and kind children, the very thorough children, the demanding children, the inquisitive children, and then of course, the hilarious children writing hilarious letters to Santa Claus. Though they may not mean to be hilarious, that’s what makes them so great. You have to love and appreciate the innocence in those funny Santa letters, and they’ll be ones for you to cherish for many years to come — and to use as an embarrassment tool when you go over to their house on Christmas Eve.

Below you’ll find letters from hopeful children asking for everything from a “joowlre box” to more trees planted for the planet. There are even children who are specific enough (and kind enough) to include the complete online item number for each part of the gift they want. And of course they’re all funny and adorable, as all Santa letters should be. Here’s hoping these children get what they asked for this Christmas — except for that one kid who wanted a baby brother and every animal on the farm. That’s really up to their parents.

1

From “Your Christmas Fan”

Aniston, 7.

Aniston definitely deserves some gifts since she’s been “doing good in school” — even though she’s a little talkative. But aren’t we all, Aniston? Also, I don’t know who Sam and Crystal are, but I think it’s sweet she asked Santa about them and I hope they’re well.

2

“Lots Of Introspection & Honesty”

When you just can’t choose, you have to give options, right? Dahlia doesn’t know what to pick, so she leaves it to Santa Claus to choose because “she doesn’t care.” Welp. Better get to it, Santa. She did care enough to provide photos and paste them onto the letter at least.

3

The Existential Letter

First of all, I’m so sorry to this child whose parents are going through a divorce, but I am so happy for her that she found the true meaning of Christmas, giving gifts to others, and spending time with family. And I also appreciate that she thinks it’s creepy that Santa is always watching her. I thought so, too, kid.

4

The Kid Who Is Trying Their Best

This child is definitely trying their best to be good, I don’t even make my bed in the mornings or open the curtains. I do “help mom” with all the washing, though. Santa, you better be sure to leave this child a tablet with a nice dark pink cover. No light pink.

5

The Most Polite Letter Ever

This child had better received everything on their list since they said, “May I please.” I also appreciate they want a picture of Santa along with a clipboard and walkie talkie. Are they trying to unveil the truth?

6

To Santa From Their Favorite Villain

This teacher is a genius and I bet grading these letters were pure comedic gold. My personal favorite was Ursula, especially because she was the best and most underrated Disney villain of all time. It’s the “you may know me for stealing a girl’s voice and stealing her man to be queen of the sea” part for me.

7

The Most Specific Wishlist

This kid deserves an award for handwriting each item number for Santa to find online. Clearly he’s a genius and pays attention to detail very closely as he’s asking for pieces to build an entire computer from scratch. Somebody send this kid to Mensa after purchasing his very specific cooling system, casing, ram, video card, CPU, and motherboard. This child is going places, so Santa, don’t delay.

8

Please, No Dead Dogs

Please no dead dogs, but would love a gaming chair, a phone, an Elf on the Shelf, and a Gacha Life game. These are all fairly doable requests, Santa. But seriously, please no dead dogs. Only “live” dogs.

9

The Eco-friendly Child Who Also Wants Lollies

Bless this child. I , too, want everyone to plant more trees. I also wouldn’t mind a pack of lollies as well. This parent is doing something right, in my opinion. So Santa, be sure to adopt or plant a tree in this kids’ name at the very least.

10

The Sneaky (& Smart) Child

This kid is trying to use Santa Claus to pull a fast one on his parents. Just wait until he finds out. He sneakily tells Santa he wants a “goldin rachvever” or fish, “puppy/or/dog.” He clearly doesn’t care which, Santa, so just get the kid a pet. And for heaven’s sake, don’t tell his parents.

11

Asking For A Farm & A Sibling

This child is not getting anything for Christmas from his list according to his mom on Instagram. I don’t really blame her when this child wants an iPhone, a baby brother, a fish, a hamster, a cat, and a dog. That’s a full house, my friend.

12

Dinosaur Mania

Lachlan, age 4

I think “an army of volcanoes” and a prehistoric dinosaur kingdom is doable, right, Santa? Also he totally should get every single one of these things because he is the sweetest when he tells him to stay safe while flying and he loves him. *Cries*

13

The Child Who Didn’t Understand The Assignment

Henry, 6.

Not a gift, but I guess it’s OK to vent to Santa Claus sometimes, too. This child is clearly angry at mom and dad because they’re mean for not letting him do “anethig” he wants. I feel you, kid. Life is tough sometimes, but I’m not sure Father Christmas himself can help with this one.

14

Hot Dogs For Santa

Harper, 3.

I wouldn’t mind if my son left Santa Claus some hot dogs instead of cookies by the fire place this year. I also appreciate that she wants Easter eggs for Christmas. Clearly, the Easter Bunny didn’t leave her enough eggs in the spring.

15

One For Me & One For Mommy

Charlotte, 2.5.

Who says the twos are terrible? This sweet 2.5-year-old dictated to her mom her wishlist, and lovingly included her mom in the gift receiving, including purple lipstick and a dolly house. I’m sure her mom would be thrilled to also receive those gifts from Santa Claus as well.

16

A Simple Request

Aria, 6.

It’s the amazing spelling for me. So Aria absolutely deserves a “joowlre box width meusic” for her creative phonetic spelling. Let’s be real. I still second guess myself when spelling “jewelry” and I’m a professional writer.

17

The Threatening Santa Letter

I, for one, would be pretty terrified of the consequences of not providing a pony — especially if the consequences involve that crazy looking pony on the letter coming to my room in the middle of the night and beating me up. So Santa, if you’re reading this, you better bring this kids’ pony. Stat.