You're to blame for all of this
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7 Signs Your Spouse Is Attracted To Another Person

It’s not you, it’s them.

by Meg Kehoe
Originally Published: 

Relationships can be tough work. Even when you're both fully committed, things aren't always easy. Whether you're having an off day or you're beginning to feel distant from your partner, feeling neglected by your partner can put stress on your relationship. But where is the line drawn? How do figure out if it's truly neglect you're feeling, or if your partner has found attention somewhere new? The signs your spouse is attracted to another person aren't always easy to see. And to be honest, sometimes it's easier to ignore the signs completely and just stick to the routine. But, you deserve to know what’s going on in your relationship or marriage. And if you find yourself up late, secretly Googling things like “signs of a married woman in love with another man”, well, it’s probably time to face facts and have the hard conversation.

In order to keep your relationship in a healthy place, you're going to have to acknowledge the signs sooner or later. And sooner is always better. Rather than retreating and wallowing, start paying attention. Look out for the warning signs, but be gentle in your approach to your partner. There's a fine line between fishing for the signs of straying and accusing your partner of something that may be in your head. After all, finding someone else attractive is not a cardinal sin. But, assuring that your partner won't act on that attraction, and creating a space for open conversation about your relationship is important in order to keep moving forward in your relationship.

To stay ahead of the heartbreak, look out for these common signs that your partner finds someone else attractive.


They avoid you

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The beginning of the end is often triggered by an emotional withdrawal from your partner. If you feel like your partner is pulling away, that’s definitely a red flag.


They’re secretive

If your partner is suddenly hiding text messages, taking private calls, and sneaking around? There's a good chance there's a reason behind it. Wonder what’s up? Just ask.


They compare you to someone else. A lot.

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When your partner starts comparing you to his new friend at the office, let that be a siren call for you to get to the bottom of what's going on. In fact, any time you’re hearing about someone else a little too often, you might just pay close attention. Maybe it’s nothing, or maybe it’s something. But if you catch it early, maybe you can nip it in the bud — couples therapy, anyone?


They’re often defensive

If your partner returns your questions about where they’ve been or who they’re texting with with more questions, it might be a sign that they’re feeling guilty about being attracted to someone else.


They're hitting the gym more than usual

New haircut? Looking noticeably spiffier on the way to the office? What's caused this sudden surge in self-care? Of course, it's not always a bad thing when your spouse takes an interest in putting themselves together — but getting to the root of why it's happening should be a top priority, so you can rule out any possible new attractions as the source.


You’re spending less time together

Sometimes, it’s nice to miss your partner a bit, and it makes coming back together all the sweeter. A business trip here and there is fine. But when you start noticing your spouse spending less time with you and it seems like a pattern? Address it.


They've started picking at you

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Whether it's your cooking, your looks, your attitude, your spouse has started picking at everything about you — this is likely because they've found an attraction to someone new. When you've got a new shiny toy, your old toy becomes a lot less appealing, doesn't it? You deserve to be loved. This does not stand. If you’re feeling picked on, definitely address it. As painful as it is to have a hard conversation, staying in an unhealthy relationship is harder in the long run.

If you're noticing any of these signs happening in your marriage, don't lose hope. Take action. Repairing your relationship is much easier before things get out of hand, and when an attraction is still just an attraction, and nothing more.

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