Meghan Markle is about to spend her first Christmas as a wife, an expectant mom, and an official member of the British royal family. Sure, she was a guest at the royal Christmas at Sandringham Estate last year but let's face it. She was a guest — everyone was probably on their best behavior because that's what you do when strangers come over for Christmas. This year, however, she's a full on member. And here are at least 10 bizarre royal family Christmas traditions Markle had better get used to, because I suspect she's in it for the long haul.
There are plenty of royal Christmas traditions I would definitely support, like the fact that it happens at a bona fide estate (although Sandringham Estate in Norfolk is considered one of the smaller castles, it's still huge so excuse me if I don't cry for them). There's also the fact that no one has to cook the food or do the dishes; I'm down with that. But some of the traditions are a little, how shall I say this? Unique.
Because the royal family, and Queen Elizabeth in particular, likes things a certain way and they aren't big fans of changing it up and such. So unless Meghan Markle, newly minted royal and former American actress, decided to be a real renegade and stir things up, her Christmas is going to look a little different this year.
1. Post-Turkey Weigh Ins
If Meghan Markle, or any other member of the royal family for that matter, is considering having a nice little cheat day on Christmas, they might want to reconsider. Because, according to Cosmopolitan, apparently the family does a pre-dinner and post-dinner weigh in. So says Majesty editor Ingrid Seward in Grazia.
Apparently this is an ancient tradition and they use some sort of antique scales and such, but seriously? Why feed everyone all that turkey and potatoes and desserts and such if you're going to food shame them after? Come on, guys, not cool.
2. Royals On A Train
Imagine you're sitting on a train, making the trip hope for Christmas, and a sweet little old lady sits beside you. Now imagine it's the Queen of England. Because this is something that Queen Elizabeth does every year; she takes the public train from London's King's Cross Station to her country estate in Norfolk, according to Now To Love. And while this is sort of a lovely gesture to align herself with the common people, she totally gets her own compartment and stuff. So you probably wouldn't be sitting next to her anyways.
3. Monopoly, Anyone? Nope
If Meghan Markle liked to play board games at Christmas like so many of us regular people, she's going to be pretty disappointed this year. Because the royal family isn't actually allowed to play Monopoly, as the Duke of York told The Telegraph. Although it's not like they can really own real estate or probably deal with money on the regular, so maybe this is a good thing.
4. "Ain't Life A B**ch"?
If you think the royal family is all about making it rain with jewels and cars for presents on Christmas Day, think again. The family is reportedly big into gag gifts, the cheaper and funnier the better. Like the time Kate Middleton apparently gave Prince Harry a "Grow Your Own Girlfriend" kit for Christmas or Prince Harry gave his grandmother a bath hat that read "Ain't Life A B*tch," as reported by Marie Claire. Here's hoping tasteful Meghan Markle can keep up.
5. Take Me To Church(es)
Christmas isn't all about jokes, guys, which is why the royal family attends church not once but twice on Christmas Day. They have a private family service at 9 a.m. at St. Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham, then head home to change and come back for the 11 a.m. service, as per the Royal Family website. That's a lot of sitting in church in one day if you ask me. And maybe some of them should sneak in a nap because...
6. No Sleeping For You
As The Sun reported, nobody is allowed to go to bed on Christmas Day until Queen Elizabeth decides to say goodnight. And she seems like someone who can easily run on about two hours, so that can't be easy.
7. Two Syllables, Sounds Like...
They might not be into Monopoly, but The Express reported that the royal family loves to play charades. And apparently do puzzles and watch movies together, and now I'm feeling all warm and cozy picturing Queen Elizabeth do her apparently killer impressions of heads of state she has met. I bet she does an amazing Trump.
8. The Killing Season
For many years, Prince Phillip has hosted a Boxing Day shoot. Which is when everyone gets together to hunt animals and kill them. Ah, Christmas. Prince Harry reportedly skipped out last year because Markle is a big animal lover, as per The Express, so I'm hoping this tradition dies off as of right now.
9. Men & Their Football, Am I Right?
Prince William and Prince Harry started a new tradition of their own a few years back, a charity soccer game where estate workers play local townspeople in an 11-a-side game, as reported by the Daily Mail. I'm down with this one; not the playing or the watching but the concept.
10. Santa Comes Early
The royal family might embrace the whole Santa tradition, even giving each other their gag gifts via a Secret Santa system, but there's a slight problem here. According to Town & Country, they open their presents on Christmas Eve. Guys... Santa didn't even have a chance to come yet so what's with that? As Business Insider reported, the family gets together for tea time on Christmas Eve to open their presents and now I don't even know why they have Christmas morning. What's the point? Maybe that's just me.
I guess Meghan Markle has some adjusting to do with this whole royal Christmas thing. But she'll be doing it in a castle so I'm sure she'll be fine.
This first-time mom wants to have a home birth, but is she ready? Watch how a doula supports a military mom who's determined to have a home birth in Episode One of Romper's Doula Diaries, Season Two, below. Visit Bustle Digital Group's YouTube page for the next three episodes, launching Mondays in December.