Let's just get it out of the way straight off the bat: I know basically everyone wants to be a Gryffindor. There's good reason for that. Harry Potter author and actual goddess who deigns to speak to we mere mortals/muggles, J.K. Rowling set up Gryffindor to be the house. It's where Harry, Ron, Hermione, and pretty much every consequential character in the series winds up. Fans imagine themselves joining Gryffindor's winning Quidditch team and having long conversations with Ginny Weasley and Dean Thomas in the common room. They like to think they would have the audacity and fortitude to join Dumbledore's Army and take a stand against the Death Eaters during the Battle at Hogwarts. But who really has the makings of a true Gryffindor?
My son, that's who.
No, really. I've thought about this for a really long time and after much careful consideration, I have taken it upon myself to sort him "where dwell the brave at heart." This isn't simply the overly proud and smug declarations of a doting mother; I'm totally a Ravenclaw, and if anything, I'd want him to follow in my magical footsteps. (Side-note: I recognize that I never actually attended Hogwarts and I'm OK with that... or I will be... with time and continued talk therapy.) But my fiery little dude is all Gryffindor. Will our kids be classmates? Let's find out what characteristics they must possess...
When Godric Gryffindor founded the house, the chief attribute he looked for among its potential residents was bravery. It's not necessarily that little Gryffindors are without fear (though we'll get to that), it's that they have the fortitude and inner grit to muscle through their worries. So they might be terrified to go to the dentist, but after a chat, they'll be a sport about it.
Does your child climb on the highest piece of furniture in your house and leap? Do they regularly scale door jambs? If so, you might be raising a Gryffindor. Sometimes that trademark bravery goes a bit too far and your darling one, like Harry Potter himself, doesn't always think through the consequences of their actions.
Gryffindors are determined little suckers, which will no doubt be great when they're grown up and angling for a promotion at work, but is perhaps less awesome when they want something and, as a parent, you've said no. Your "no" means nothing to them. Your "no" is like an amuse-bouche to their goal, whetting their appetite.
They Are Natural Leaders
I'm pretty sure this gif does an adequate job of illustrating my point. I have nothing further to add, Your Honor.
I guess when you're a bold and tenacious leader who is determined to get what you want, if things don't go your way, you're going to get sort of huffy about it. It doesn't help that Gryffindor's associated element is fire — a corresponding temper makes sense. So if your wee one has a tendency to fly off the handle... don't blame them. Blame the Sorting Hat.
They Don't Necessarily Believe In Rules
Snape accuses Gryffindors of not giving to much regard for authority or the rules, which is more than a bit rich coming from a Slytherin, but he's not really wrong, is he? Harry and his pals often (necessarily) bend the rules to achieve the greater good and that sits perfectly well with them most of the time. If your kid is willing to sacrifice the specifics of perfect behavior for what they perceive to be something more, they might be a Gryffindor.
And why wouldn't they be? They know they're Gryffindors!
They May Be A Bit Cliquey
Just as Slytherins tend to chill with other Slytherins, Gryffindors often keep the company of their own. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you find your kid tends to keep a familiar cluster of buddies close by at all times, this may be further evidence that they're destined for Gryffindor.
They're Natural Competitors
Godric Gryffindor was one of the great wizard duelists of his age, and chivalry was a big important deal for him. Now, chivalry is not, as many people believe, a moral code about treating yo' lady right. It's almost entirely about a particular moral code regarding battle and warfare. So what does that translate into in a non-Medieval knight world? Sports, of course! Your wee Gryffindor's enthusiasm for Little League may be mere prologue to a distinguished Quidditch career.
They Love Winning
And who doesn't? But while Gryffindors aren't at Slytherin levels of doing whatever it takes to succeed, they are a competitive bunch and it's a particular high for them to come out on top. So maybe your kid gets super excited when she hits a home run or brings home an A on a test. The thrill they get doing well only inspires them to keep winning.
If your child displays these qualities, I hope they look good in red and gold scarves because they're definitely...
Image: Fred Smith/Flickr Giphy(10); Imgur