10 Instagram Captions For Baby's Bath Time, Including Bobby Darin Lyrics
What is it about pics of babies in bathtubs that never fails to illicit a smile from even the most stone-hearted of humans? Take any Instagram caption of a baby during bath time and you'll find a love story. Is it a baby's unbridled joy at soaking everything within a 3-foot radius? The joy of being surrounded by warm bubbles? Or just sweet little toes peeking out from water?
I don't know, but every photo is perfection. It's just important to note that parents should be cautious and smart about the kinds of bath photos they share on social media. As adorable as these posts can be, naked photos of kids can and do fall into the wrong hands, and many sites advise not sharing bath time pics at all.
It's also good to remember that while you may find a sudsed up photo of your toddler absolutely hilarious, that toddler might not find it so funny when he hits 7 years old.
All of that said, if your Instagram has good privacy settings, and you know who you're sharing with, you might have some bath pics that feel suitable to post. (Maybe those that only show your kid's lathered up head, or pics where their bodies are actually covered with bubbles.)
But even if your shots aren't right for social media, well, these captions could still come in handy for texting with the grandparents, or for your own personal photo album.
1. "Slippery when wet."
And truly, there are few things slipperier than a squirming baby in a bathtub, no? A porpoise covered in olive oil is easier to get a grip on.
2. "Rubber ducky, you're the one! You make bath time so much fun!"
You can never go wrong with this classic Sesame Street ode to bath toy joy. Of course, this works best if your child has a rubber ducky. Which of course they do. My kid has one and I have no idea where it even came from. I think maybe they come attached to the umbilical cord.
3. “'Children should never have baths,’ my grandmother said. ‘It's a dangerous habit.’ ‘I agree, Grandmamma.'” ― Roald Dahl, 'The Witches'
For when you want people to know you are both literary and have clean children.
4. "Rub-a-dub-dub, three kids in a tub, and who do you think they be? The shrieker, the splasher, the toy boat crasher, and all of them out to sea!"
This is a good one if you have to bathe not one, but three children. And if you do, may God have mercy on your soul. Also, here's a link for a bathroom wine glass holder.
5. "Now, laughing friends deride... tears I cannot hide! Ooooh, so I smile and say... when you hear my cries... soap gets in my eyes!"
Put a little twist on the 'ol tune "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes." You can also try blasting this in the bathroom when washing your child's hair to drown out their screams of fury and rage.
6. "A hot bath! How exquisite a vespertine pleasure, how luxurious, fervid and flagrant a consolation for the rigours, the austerities, the renunciations of the day." — Rose Macaulay
This one is perfect for that totally blissed out bathtub smile kids get. You know the one I'm talking about — where they grin like they're on cloud 9, while you silently pray they aren't peeing.
7. "Never mind the bollocks... where's my Paw Patrol Bath Squirter?"
The best part of giving a kid a bath is of course styling their hair into a punk rock mohawk. So lather them up and ready those spikes. To capture their best Johnny Rotten sneer, snap the pic right after reminding them it's only 10 minutes until bedtime.
8. How to practice giving a kid a bath: Step 1. Dump three gallons of water onto the floor. Step 2. Spray your own clothes with a firehose.
Keep it real, and let the non-parents out there know what's really going down. Yes, your kid looks precious in this photo, but do people know you were standing in 2 inches of dirty water when you took it?
9. "Splish splash I was taking a bath, 'long about a Saturday night!"
This song is 1000 years old, and yet almost all humans, no matter the age, all seem to know at least the first line. It is clearly a testament to the human race's love of folklore about people settling in to wildly bathe, only to discover that a party is taking place in their very own home. Bless you, Bobby Darin.
10. "Calgon, take me away!"
Gen Z-ers likely won't get this, and will probably think it's something Daenerys shouted at one of her dragons during battle, but no... it actually refers to a popular 1980s commercial for bath soap, wherein a harried woman seeks relief from life's constant demands. Just like your toddler seeks relief from her long day of slobbering, attempting to eat Duplo, and throwing peas.