Life
There is always something slightly hilarious about a toddler "reading a book." Perhaps because they have zero idea how to actually read? Or because of the perfect Instagram captions for toddlers reading, like "he has no idea what he's doing." Pics of little ones reading are always reliably cute and entertaining, which of course is why they are an Insta staple. To assist with all those "look at my 3-year-old pretending to peruse Salman Rushdie" posts, I've rounded up some caption ideas for you.
I know when I got pregnant, I absolutely loved that I got to dive back into the world of kids' books. I even had a book-themed baby shower where instead of cards, I asked people to please inscribe a book for my child. (Pushy, perhaps, but it was quite nice that when my little one arrived he already had his own little library going. Kids' books are pricey.)
He has always been a fan of books, which thrills me. Not always a fan of reading them, mind you. At first he was mainly a fan of destroying them, like a little totalitarian dictator in a diaper. But over time, he's grown to love actually reading them. And lo, how my heart sang when he first sounded out the word "Arbys," then turned to me with delight and said "Mommy, I can read!" True, I would have preferred his first read word to not be a purveyor of fast food roast beef sandwiches, but life happens the way it happens. Now for the captions!
1
“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.” – Walt Disney
Of course, your toddler may actually be more inclined toward the "treasures" found on Disney+, but anyhoo!
2
"Books: good for reading. Great for chewing."
My kid chewed on so many books. And his selections generally proved hilarious. He was very fond of teething on Ophira Eisenberg's Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy. The cover still bears his tiny teeth marks.
3
"Doesn't your kid's library sometimes make you want your own board books? Like a board book of 'Goldfinch'? That would take three bodybuilders to lift?"
Right? There's just something so comforting and pleasing about board books.
4
"Uh, Mom, just because I won't let YOU read anything longer than a Target receipt doesn't mean I can't kick back with my favorite Margaret Wise Brown."
Toddlers love nothing more than stopping an adult from reading. It is a known favorite toddler pastime. Which is why I think we should return the favor whenever they try to relax with a book. Like, get in their little faces and say their name over and over again while pulling on their legs and attempting to hit the book.
5
"A child who reads will be an adult who thinks." — Unknown
Wise words. And while most toddlers are inclined toward books that feature either faux fur or bells, these first books are still a step in the right direction!
6
"While the general thesis of 'Moo Ba La La' is intriguing, I'm afraid I find the writer's postmodern style somewhat ineffective, particularly with regard to the doggies' going bow wow wow." — Toddler Book Club
Some toddler books are so bonkers. It can be hilarious to imagine a critical analysis. (Though for the record, Moo Ba La La La is a classic.)
7
"What's my favorite book? One I can tear."
For some little ones, the only thing better than eating a book is tearing it to shreds. There was a brief period when my son was 2 that our bookcase had its own little baby fence. Yep. A fence dedicated entirely to protecting The Time Traveler's Wife.
8
“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” – Stephen King
I agree wholeheartedly. Though I do not recommend letting your toddler read Stephen King. Unless maybe those little BabyLit books do a version of The Shining? Which would be kind of amazing. "One axe. Two twins. Three people lost in a maze..."
9
"Fingers crossed my child will one day read Jane Austen with the same fervor and intensity as 'Piggie Loves Slop.'"
Do you ever watch your toddler flip through the pages of Chicka Chick Boom Boom, and find yourself daydreaming about the day you can discuss Pride and Prejudice with her? You're not alone.
10
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.” — Dr. Seuss, 'I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!'
Well, actually toddlers, you can't read with your eyes open or shut, but you will one day soon! And truly, it is one of the most magical moments in the world when it all clicks for your kid. And you realize, Oh my god they can actually read! And then, Oh my god, I am going to have to seriously do some rearranging on the bookshelves! Starting with where to put Sex For Dummies...
