Be honest. That’s the relationship advice everyone loves to share, but is far more complicated than it seems. You know that you should keep your communication open with your partner, but does that mean you have to divulge everything? To keep it easy and free of insecurities, there are some lies it’s OK to tell in a relationship.
I’m not suggesting you should keep huge secrets from your significant other – if you drunkenly kissed someone at the bar last night, honesty is the best policy – but there are some little white lies that are totally fine to tell. While most think of lies as a way to deceive another person for your own gain, lies in a relationship can be well-meaning. This is called pro-social lying, or telling a fib to help another person or to protect their feelings. If you’re not sure whether a lie is an appropriate response to tell your SO, ask yourself if it will help your relationship to tell the truth. If it has no impact, but could hurt your partner or break their confidence, a tiny lie might be worth it. Here are 10 lies it’s OK to tell in a relationship.
1“You’re The Biggest I’ve Ever Seen.”
Look, I’m not saying you have to come right on out and lie about it, but it’s totally fine to tell this little (well, not-so-little) white lie if your partner asks. It’s no secret that guys care about their size and how they compare to other dudes, so do your SO a solid and tell him you just don’t know what to do with one that big.
2. “I Don’t Think My Co-Worker’s Hot.”
This lie can also apply to friends, teammates, and the bartender. No matter how good looking another person may be, your partner doesn’t need to know that. Even if they try to bait you by playing the “Do you think they’re hot?” game. Just shrug the other person off and remind your SO that you think they are hot one. If withholding the truth can keep your relationship free of insecurities and jealousy, why not?
3“That Sex Was Amazing!”
Not every bedroom romp is going to be mind-blowing, but there’s no need to let your SO know. Maybe they didn’t last very long or you weren’t as turned on as usual, but it’s best to keep it to yourself. Let them know that you enjoyed yourself and then share some ideas on how to make it better next time.That being said, if you are constantly unsatisfied with the sex, you should say something to your SO before you stray
4“Video Games Are Awesome.”
You don’t have to be OK with your partner playing eighteen hours of Xbox, but it’s totally fine to lie so they can feel better about their hobby. Pretending to have an interest in video games is also beneficial if you ever want your partner to join you on an adventure that they’re less than pumped about. (Target trip, anyone?)
5“I Love Your Apartment.”
The futon is covered in one to many food stains (God, you hope it’s food) and there are two cinder blocks being used as a coffee table. I get it, our partner’s apartment sucks. But is there any reason to tell them? If it drives you too crazy, offer to do a little decorating. Otherwise, it’s best to keep your mouth closed and spray the toilet down before you use it.
6“I Don't Care About Your Ex.”
Your social media stalking skills may be worthy enough to go on your resume, but don’t tell your SO that. Reading your partner’s ex’s Tumblr posts is an activity you can share with your BFF and no one else. If your SO offers up information about his ex, act totally disinterested and not like you once spent an hour perusing her Pinterest boards and already know she’s a vegan.
7“I Never Hear From My Ex.”
You woke up to a 3 a.m. to an “I miss us” text from your ex, and aren’t sure what to do with it. Here’s my advice: delete it and forget it. If you’re over your ex and your SO has absolutely nothing to worry about (and I mean nothing), then sharing that information with them is just asking for trouble. Pretend like your ex doesn’t exist and move on with your new partner.
8“I Love Your Friends!”
You don’t have to be best friends with your partner’s pals, but it’s nice when they know that you’re able to get along with them. If you don’t want your SO to be worried about their nights out with the boys, go ahead and share this little lie. No one’s going to get hurt, and it shows him than you care.
When arguing with your SO about something serious, like where you want to live and how many kids you want, you should argue until there is a solution. But if you get in a spat over something small, like who should clean the dishes, sometimes it's easier to suck it up and take the blame (even if you know it's not your fault.)
10“That Back Rub Felt Great!"
Your significant other is giving you a massage, right? What is there to complain about? If your partner is intent on making you feel good, they won’t mind a few helpful hints from you about what you like. But if they ask you how it felt, go ahead and tell them it was great. You want to encourage this behavior, right? Make them want to do it again!