Life

Courtesy of Hannah Westmoreland Murphy
10 Signs You Definitely Have A Fearless Kid On Your Hands (So Good Luck)

Parenthood is scary, at some point (read: many points) for absolutely everyone who decided to enter into it. If a parent tells you that they're never afraid and their kid doesn't cause them constant anxiety, they're either lying or they don't have a fearless kid. Sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate between kids being kids and your kid showing some fearless tendencies, but they're are signs you have a fearless kid on your hands which, coincidentally, double as signs you really need to invest in some wine.

My own fear started before I even got home from the hospital with my firstborn. He was perfectly healthy and basically everything about my pregnancy, labor, and delivery had been pretty routine, so I had no legitimate reason to be afraid, except for the fact that I didn't feel like I was nearly ready enough to keep a tiny human alive and thriving on my own, despite my many months of vigilant preparation. I was terrified that first day I brought my baby home, and have had plenty of other fleeting moments of fear since, as my kid seems to become more and more fearless by the second.

It's not that I don't encourage fearlessness in my children, because I do. I want them to be courageous and to explore and to be blissfully unaware of the dangers of the world for as long as possible, because they're children and freedom is wonderful and they shouldn't worry the way a parent (i.e. me) does. However, me fostering fearlessness also means I spend far to much times Googling signs of a heart attack, because I'm pretty positive both of my kids are hell-bent on giving me one. What can I say? You win some, you lose some.

If you have a fearless kid yourself, you're probably well aware that your parental journey is going to have its (many, many) challenges, but just in case you need a subtle reminder (or you're wondering what's ahead), here are 10 signs you've got a fearless kid, too, because #solidarity.

They Think They Can Fly

Some kids seem to be born with the innate realization that heights can be dangerous and gravity is a real thing, but not fearless kids. To them, the higher up they are the more fun the fall down will be. It doesn't matter whether it's the couch or the coffee table or the slide at the playground; they're really not concerned with how far they'll inevitably fall because they're so preoccupied by the thrill. They'll try to make their way up the stairs and back down on their own without thinking twice about the fact that their little legs aren't quite ready to take on that journey.

Instead of Being Deterred By Bugs, They're Intrigued

Being unafraid of bugs is probably a good trait to have, but it's a trait I definitely don't have. My kid is constantly handed me dead bugs and it's never not traumatizing. Most bugs are harmless, though some can bite or sting or cause rashes, and if you've got the fearless kid you know this first hand and have likely treated a boo boo or two that came at the hands of some bug. All you can really do is cross your fingers and pray that your kid eventually learns that chasing wasps isn't typically a good idea.

They Climb Literally Everything...

Stairs, furniture, shelves, trees, people...

...And jump Off Of Everything

Stairs, furniture, shelves, trees, people...

Not A Day Goes By That They Don't Give Themselves A New Bruise

It's not all that uncommon for the parents of fearless kids to get strange looks or pressing questions from their kids' grandparents (or friends or neighbors or even strangers, which is the worst) about the many random bruises on their little bodies. "Oh, poor dear! What happened?" they'll ask you, but the truth is that you probably have no freakin' clue. It could have been from when they jumped off of the dining room table or when they used their little play chair as a launching pad to their basketball goal or from falling off of one of the many things that they climbed or from wrestling their sibling. There are too many different scenarios that could have led to their many random (but thankfully, harmless) battle wounds.

Mild Injuries Have Become Routine

Most of us freak out the first time our baby gets a "boo boo." Whether that's a little bump on the head or a busted lip, it always seems a lot more urgent and terrifying the first time we see our babies bleed. Parents of fearless kids freaked out at first, too, but now we're seasoned wound dressers and boo boo kissers as fearless kids rarely go a day without acquiring a new bruise or scrape. We get quite acquainted with little injuries and have got a solid first aid routine for whenever another should happen.

They Don't Want Your Help

It's common knowledge that young kids should always look both ways and hold a parent's hand when crossing the street, but fearless kids have no interest in the life-saving advice or hand-holding of their parents. They want to do everything on their own. Sure, this will be a great thing and certainly come in handy once they get older, but right now? It's terrifying.

They Get Stuck A Lot

Curious by nature, fearless kids feel the need to explore every crack and crevice without regard for the potential consequences of doing so. This means that there's a good chance that they're going to get stuck somewhere at some point. Whether that's as minor as a finger stuck in the dresser drawer handle, or as severe as a head stuck in between the stair rails, it's going to happen at some point. Just keep some olive oil on hand and pray that you never have to destroy your furniture (or call your local fire department) to set them free.

You Own 18 Different Baby Gates To Try To Contain Them

But they love to climb, so you probably need 18 more baby gates to truly contain them. Where there's a will, there's a way, and fearless kids are definitely strong willed and determined to find a way. Try as you may, you are fighting an uphill battle.

You Never Stop Moving

If you're looking for a good way to burn calories, you don't have to look far if you've got the fearless kid. As previously mentioned, they climb, jump, get stuck, explore, sneak away, and defy all methods of attempted restriction, so there's a good chance that you rarely get to sit down long enough to catch your breath. Having a fearless kid is like being in a constant state of fear and aerobic activity. If anxiety could burn calories, mothers of fearless kids would have no need for a cardio routine, ever again.