Romper

10 Thoughts Every New Mom Has On The Day She (Finally) Gets Her Hair Cut Again

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Many of us have known people who have the glorious gift of hair styling skills. They're able to do everyone's hair before a dance in high school, or who style a killer updo for fellow bridesmaids at weddings, and their own hair always looks oh-so-glamorous constantly. I am most definitely not one of these people. Most of the time, my hair is in some sort of ponytail that probably doesn't look as chic as I think it does. I recently chopped about four inches off my hair, and spent the entire day anxious, consumed with the thoughts you only ever have when you cut your hair. I used to cut my own hair, and even attempted to cut my own bangs a few times. Yeah, completely not worth the risk (or the "reward," because ugh). So, I have decided to leave the hair-cutting to the professions. That doesn't mean, however, that all my hair-cutting anxiety is gone. Nope. Not even close.

My return to the hair salon meant that I was not only going to trust someone else to cut my hair, I was going to pay them for it. Yes, they clearly had more experience and they're a professional with extensive training, but you never really know exactly what you're going to get when you make that hair appointment. I mean, at least when I'm the one doing the cutting, I know what my hair will look like. Not good, mind you, but at least I know. There's no shock and there's no disappointment and well, even if my hair is uneven, the certainty of it all can be comforting.

Basically, making an appointment to get my hair cut was a big deal, which was easily magnified by the fact that I was also a new mom and that haircut was one of the first significant attempts at self-care I'd made in some time. Here's what was going through my head that day, and what (I'd argue) goes through everyone's head when they decide to cut their hair.

"This Is Going To Change My Life"

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I always think a hair cut is totally going to change my entire existence. I'll look good and feel good and the sea will part and I will accomplish all I have set out to accomplish. I mean, my hair takes way less time to dry than it used to, so basically this is true.

"Man, I Feel Like A Woman"

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Seriously, that was the longest chunk of time I've committed to my appearance in...um...maybe I shouldn't say, for fear of embarrassing my family.

"I Hope This Stylist Knows What She’s Doing"

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I mean, she's already way ahead of me and my awkwardly-holding-scissors-in-front-of-the-bathroom-mirror experience, so I think we're going to be okay. Still, I am worried. Maybe too worried, but still worried.

"Who Says Moms Can’t Be Super Stylish And Sensational?"

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Because hey guys, come see how good I look!

"Sitting In This Chair Without Someone Crying At Me Is The Best Part Of This Entire Appointment"

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She could use a Suck Kut and I would probably roll with it. Seriously, just take your sweet time and don't rush and let me sit on this really comfortable chair that doesn't have baby vomit on it.

"I’d Pay Ten Times This Amount To Have 45 Minutes Of Uninterrupted Time In A Chair, With Adult Conversation, Every Single Day"

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Oh, and if there was coffee involved? Well, perhaps the more pressing question is, does anyone need an extra kidney?

"Why Don’t I Do This More Often?"

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Everything is wonderful and life is amazing!

"...Oh Yeah, Because I Have A Small Child"

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Okay, yes, I love my child! That is a fact. Another fact, however, is that his presence in my life makes it trickier to schedule fancy hair cuts, so there's that.

"It’s Nice To Feel Like A Grown-Up Again"

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Would it be weird if I went out and bought myself an evening gown, just for kicks? Like, I would probably just have to wear it around my house and it would probably be weird to go to work in it, but whatever. I look that good.  

"I Wonder If My Kid Will Notice?"

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Still, even if my kid doesn't notice, I notice, and I feel good and rejuvenated and less like a walking baby maker and more like an actual human being, and that's kinda that point about haircuts (especially for new mothers), right?