10 Weird Things Every Mom Does When She's Showering
If I'm being honest, I've always loved the shower. I'll equate this fondness to being an Aquarius, and how much I'm drawn to water in general. However, it's probably just the fact that feeling clean is nice and hot water feels nice and the entire process, while sometimes annoying, is nice. However, I had no idea how much the shower, and the act of showering, would become such a pivotal staple in my life, until I became a mom. Turns out, the shower is freakin' life-saving. It's magic. There are also some weird things every new mom does when she's showering, because something this wonderful must come with a side of ridiculousness. After all, all that glitters is not gold.
As a writer, I get my best ideas in the shower. As a mother, the shower has become something of a safe haven for clarity, relaxation, and finding neutral so I don't lose my ever-lovin' mind. It has become less about washing my hair or cleaning my body, and more about simply having a few moments to myself (sometimes). While a few of my first postpartum showers were jarring, to say the least (hello postpartum body and exhaustion and the constant fear that if I wasn't staring at my kid every second of every day, something would go wrong) I have quickly learned that the shower provides me with everything I need. I can relax. I can clean the baby-puke off of me. I can feel like myself again. I can be left alone.
The shower is also a source of some "odd" behavior, which is basically to say that the shower is a source of totally normal behavior if you're a mother. Your idea of "normal" changes when you're a mom, and it has definitely changed what I consider to be completely natural bathroom (and shower) behavior. So, with that in mind, here are a few things every mom does in the shower that are probably perceived as weird, but is just a normal part of any parent's day.
She Pretends She's On Vacation, Because That's What It Feels Like
Honestly, these days, a trip to Greece has nothing on a few minutes of uninterrupted shower time. It's free, it doesn't require a passport, I don't have to sit on a plan for an ungodly number of hours and I don't have to deal with an unforgiving time change. Mothers, you don't need a travel agent. You need a decent shower and, sometimes, a plumber.
Thinks About All The Things She Has To Accomplish That Day...
While I enjoy the shower as much as the next mom, and consider it relaxing, it's also the time where I can think the clearest. I get my best ideas when I'm in the shower, and I'm able to organize my thoughts in a way that alludes me throughout the majority of my normal day. I even have a water-proof pad stuck to my shower wall, with a water-proof pen that allows me jot down ideas or thoughts or to-do lists.
...And Remembers That One Thing She Forgot To Do Last Week
Of course, this fleeting moment of clarity also means that I will, inevitably, remember that one thing I was supposed to do two weeks ago but completely and totally forgot because life (or exhaustion) got in the way. It's the damn worst, and a great way to ruin what would have been a fantastic shower.
When She's The Only Adult Home, The Door Is Wide Open....
I used to be terrified to take a shower when my son was a newborn, even when he was asleep (which, let's face it, was a lot in those early days). I would leave the door wide open and turn the volume on the baby monitor way up and hear non-existent baby cries. I was paranoid, you guys. It wasn't pleasant.
...And She's Either Checking The Baby Monitor Every Two Seconds...
I would prop the baby monitor up on the bathroom counter so that I could peek out and look at it every, oh, I dunno, two freakin' seconds. I even dropped it in the shower once, which was the absolute worst because those suckers don't run cheap. I would stare at my sleeping son while I shampooed my hair, silently praying that he would stay asleep long enough for me to shave my legs.
...Or Waving At Her Kid, Who Thinks The Shower Is Just Fascinating
Now that my son is almost-two-years-old, there is no privacy. I keep the bathroom door open when I go to the bathroom, in the hopes he'll learn how to use the toilet, and I keep the bathroom door open when I take a shower because he'll just bang on it until I open it anyway. He thinks the shower is just the most amazing thing in the world and sticks his hand through the curtain and into the water whenever he can and, well, this is my life now. This is my reality. There's no turning back, you guys.
If Another Adult Is Home, She Locks The Door And Turns Up The Music. No One Is Coming In And No One Is Making A Sound.
However, when my partner is home and there is someone (hell, anyone) there to watch my kid, I am locking that damn door and turning my damn music up and enjoying my time alone. No one disturb me unless our home is on fire and, even then, I'm covered in water, so I probably won't mind.
Continues To Parent, Because Multitasking Is A Way Of Life, Now
Even when I'm in the shower (especially in the morning, when I'm getting ready for work) I'm asking my son to go eat his breakfast or pick up a toy or go use the potty or do something he absolutely needs to do. I'm parenting while showering, simultaneously, because there is no "down time" when you're a mom. Well, not usually, anyway.
Stays In The Shower Until There's No More Hot Water
Yes, I have used up all our hot water on multiple occasions. No, I am not sad about it. Yes, I have evoked the Dennis The Menace rule, and waiting until I was "wrinkled enough yet" before I exited the tub. No, I will not apologize. That's just good common sense.
Brags About Being Able To Take A Shower At All (Even Though It's Probably, Like, 11:30 At Night)
Look, I'm not proud of the following, OK? It's just that, when you're a new mom, you take your wins when and where you can get them. I may or may not (but definitely have) gone on social media and "bragged" about my ability to shower on any given, usually very trying day. No matter that this particular shower in question wasn't had until, oh, 10:00 at night. No matter that it may or may not (but definitely was) the first shower I had in a few days. It happened, OK? That's cause for celebration.