I breastfed, I formula fed, and I pumped during my daughter's first year of life. And while they all have their pros and cons, my least favorite was by far pumping. If you're a mom who has ever been hooked up to a breast pump, you're totally nodding your head in agreement. There is nothing that made me feel weirder than having some contraption strapped to my boobs to pull milk out of them, but I was also immensely bored. Finding things to do when hooked up to a breast pump was like lesson one in motherhood because holy sh*t, sometimes pumping takes forever.
And you know what else sucks about pumping? That you're kind of stuck. Sure, you can strap on a hands-free bra and let your double electric pump do all the work, but it's not like you're going to go walking around Target while pumping. (Props to you if you can manage this.) And for moms that pump exclusively, they're having to spend so much of their precious time each day hooked up to the breast pump, cleaning the parts, and storing the milk. I pumped just so I could have bottles for when my daughter wasn't with me or when someone else wanted to feed her, but it was still a huge pain in the *ss. You're bored, you're uncomfortable, and all you're thinking about is what you would rather be doing in that moment. So for those pumping mamas that need the time to hurry up and pass by, here are 11 things to do when hooked up to your breast pump. (Assuming your child isn't around because oh my word, that is a totally different struggle.)
1. Binge On Netflix
Nothing like a good distraction while breast pumping, right? Check in on your queue and binge a few episodes.
2. Read A Book
When's the last time you read a book, mama? Don't let all of that time pumping your milk be wasted on Facebook. Grab a read and get to it.
3. Write In That Baby Book Already
I mean, you might as well. It's not going to do itself, right?
4. Replace Those Calories
Breastfeeding and pumping burns a lot of calories, so refill the tank. Save the best snacks for when it's time to pump so you'll actually look forward to the time you feel like a milk machine.
5. Write Down All The Things You Could Be Doing
I know, I know. Nothing is more important than providing nourishment for your baby blah blah BLAHHHH. But you know there's a million other things that are important too, so right them down so you don't forget. Like cleaning up that candy melted on the couch that you've been staring at for 1- minutes now.
6. Shop Online For Sexy Bras That Aren't Nursing-Friendly
Because one day you won't need a bra with a hole for pumping or a flap for feeding and that day is coming, I promise you.
7. Scroll Your Social Media News Feeds
Alright, social media's always a winner. Check out your Instagram feed, your tweets, and Facebook. Look up hashtags like #normalizeit to remember why you're hooked up to the pump in the first place.
8. Answer Emails
I am so bad at putting emails aside and hoping I'll remember to reply to them later. Grab your phone and go ahead and shoot off a few while you're stuck at the pump.
9. Call A Friend
Texting just won't do. You're bored and you want someone to talk to, so give a friend or family member a call.
10. Give Yourself A Manicure
Those hands-free pumping bras are a lifesaver and they give you the opportunity to finally take care of that chipped nail polish you've been rocking for two weeks.
11. Make Up A Song To The Noise Of Your Breastpump
When all else fails and the WHIRR-WHIRR sound of your breast pump is becoming a form of torture, make up a song to the tune. I had so many from my breast pumping days that singing them actually used to make me cry because it was so ridiculous and I felt legit crazy. You're welcome.