Sometimes you need a giant sense of humor to get through Thanksgiving and to cope with all the drama that can unfold — like when you drive 200 miles to eat dinner with relatives who pull out endless "back in my day" rebukes. In my family, you need to be funny to keep up with the sarcasm and silly jokes that take get tossed around the dinner table. And don't forget the Thanksgiving finale: the social media posts — better be on your A game for those. Whether your holiday is fun and relaxing or stressful, funny Thanksgiving Instagram captions can a fabulous distraction both during the celebration and for the ride home and day after.
There are a couple key ingredients in a truly funny Thanksgiving Instagram caption: truth, smarts, relevance, and a killer visual. Keep your phone in hand and stay alert during the your Thanksgiving visit to capture the perfect moment. Also keep in mind that sometimes humor is in the eye of the beholder, like when we played hide and seek with my four year old niece and thought it would be funny if we all left the house while she counted to ten. She wasn't laughing at that one, though her dad and uncles were. And sometimes humor can be found in the most stressful of times. Your mom probably won't appreciate your stopping to photograph the cranberry sauce your daughter has smudged all over her dress, her face and her hair, but that extra minute to take the pic will be worth it when you post it later in the day with the caption, "My daughter, the red head. And face. And shirt."
If your goal is to come up with a funny Instagram post come Thanksgiving, take a look at a few of these and use them as is or as a jumping off point for your own turkey day caption. Or just open yourself to the comedy gods and see what comes your way on Thanksgiving Day.
1. Thanksgiving is about carbo loading to have the endurance for Black Friday.
Black Friday often starts on Thursday night, so make sure you are marathon-ready by eating as much as you can at Thanksgiving lunch. (Can't make it to dinner because you got to wait in line.)
2. The two most important times on Thanksgiving Day: Wine O'Clock and Sweats O'Clock.
Because nothing is sweeter than that first sip of wine or that moment you can take off your dress-up clothes — not even pumpkin pie.
3. Is it child abuse to give my son three helpings of turkey in hopes of a big tryptophan nap?
Using nature's little tranquilizer isn't so bad, right? Promise it's organic.
4. Turkey is the new Sudafed
A great way to caption a photo of anyone (age 0 to infinity) taking a nap right after they clean their plate. Who can blame them? They're already in their sweatpants, and the sofa is so comfy...
5. I got all the Thanksgiving veggies I need: pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin spice latte.
This one is inspired by these wise words from cartoonist Jim Davis, "Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie." Hear, hear!
6. It was all going well until someone garnished the mac and cheese.
If you don't want to freak out the kids, do not put anything fresh or green (scallions, parsley, etc.) on the mac and cheese. Ever. 'Nuf said.
7. "I like the dark meat." "That what she said."
Okay, there are a lot of Thanksgiving jokes in the "that's what she said" genre. "Do you like the thighs?" "I don't have enough room for that," and, of course, "I'm so happy you came."
8. Grandma: spends 3 days cooking every side dish known to man. Grandpa: spends 3 days finding the paper with the wifi password.
It's nice to know where everyone's priorities are. In grandpa's defense, we do need that password — how are the kids going to stream Spongebob?
9. "Thanksgiving — when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook." - Melanie White
It takes five days to cook and 15 minutes to eat it all. I'm busy during the hours of prep and clean up, free in between.
10. "Bowls, bowls, all kinds of bowls." - SNL's Back Home Ballers
According to Saturday Night Live's famous Thanksgiving skit, it's the college kids who come home and are treated like royalty by their grandparents. How about the parents? Not so much.
11. "Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a moist-maker?" Ross Geller, 'Friends'
If you're Friends fanatic, you know how important the leftovers are — protect them with everything you've got, especially the gravy so that you can make your very own sandwich with a moist-maker (a piece of bread soaked in gravy in the middle of the sandwich).
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