11 'Hocus Pocus' Quotes, Applied To Parenting

by Lauren Schumacker

Though I firmly believe that holiday-themed movies are for year-round viewing (and I'll stand by that belief), there's absolutely no doubt that Halloween movie watching picks up each fall as the sweltering heat of the year's middle months gives way for the crisper, cooler days of fall. For millennials, Hocus Pocus is a perennial favorite. The movie, in case you haven't seen it, is about three witch sisters brought back to Salem, Massachusetts to wreak havoc on Halloween. Though it's not about parenting, there are a lot of Hocus Pocus quotes that fit parenting experiences shockingly well. You love your kids and all — and they love you, too — but, let's face it: sometimes you're the Sanderson sisters and other times they are.

You might not think that a movie about sibling witches causing trouble in a town on Halloween would really be all that applicable to parenting, but I'm here to tell you that you'd be mistaken. Anyone who's interacted with a hungry, over-tired kid, a stressed-out mom, or a dad at his wit's end recognizes that everyone has the capabilities to wreak a little havoc every now and again. There's a troublemaking witch inside of everyone and these Hocus Pocus quotes prove it.


"Oh look. Another glorious morning. Makes me sick!"

Everyone has stretches of time that are challenging for one reason or another. You have a ton of deadlines at work, your partner is getting a new job, your kids are sick with a cold they just can't manage to shake — things are rough. Some mornings, you just don't have it in you to wake up happy and energized. You're in a funk that you've been in since your kid woke you up in the middle of the night to ask you how dolphins talk to each other. What's so glorious about this morning, anyway?


"Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble."

It's mid-morning and the kids have been running all over the place since they got up at the crack of dawn, making a mess, raising a ruckus, and just generally being kids. Since you got up when they did, however, you just don't really have it in you to deal with it all. You're in trouble. This day's going to be a long one.

Conversely, this also applies if your kid just put soap in the dishwasher because they thought it was the same thing as dishwasher detergent and now your kitchen is covered in bubbles. This time, everyone's in trouble.


"Dost thou comprehend?"

You've repeated yourself one million times today and your kids still don't seem to be listening to or understanding what you're saying. Every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or babysitter knows this feeling. Do they even get it?


"It's a full moon tonight. That's when all the weirdos are out."

Your kids are bouncing off the walls even more than usual and things are getting weird. It must mean a full moon or Mercury's in retrograde or something, right?


"I suggest we form a calming circle."

A calming circle is what happens right before nap time, right? Everyone talk in soothing tones and take five deep breaths.


"What is this place?" "It reeks of children!"

Kids are messy, dirty, and, let's face it, occasionally smelly. This Hocus Pocus quote is apt for when you walk into your kid's room, which looks like a tornado went through it, and you notice a distinct smell that, well, they must have caused somehow. What is it? Gross.


"I put a spell on you and now you're mine."

This is definitely what your kids are thinking as they triple-team you and convince you to give in to whatever they're currently asking for.


"Amok, Amok, Amok, Amok!"

Bouncing up and down? Repeating words? Does that sound familiar, mom? You don't end it by whacking them in the stomach, but you are happy when they finally give up on that and, you know, quit running amok.


"You know, I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one...on toast!"

As the day goes on you get a little sillier and half-hearted in your vaguely threatening responses to the things they say and do. Everyone still knows you love them deep down.


"How much candy have you had, honey?"

You're surely said this once or one million times each year on Halloween — and probably a few other days during the year, too. A kid on a sugar high is no joke.


"Jump back!"

Every mama needs her space now and then. Jump back, kids, just for a minute or two. Maybe it's time to turn on Hocus Pocus.

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