Salt-N-Pepa said it best — you can't talk about sex (baby) without talking about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Especially when some of those bad things include one you or your partner suffering from one of the most common sex injuries.
When I was a pre-teen and had no idea what sex was, I efficiently scared myself into being a virgin by reading the "most embarrassing sex stories" column of every magazine I could find. I felt sick over stories about a girl's jaw locking up after giving her boyfriend a BJ and Girl On Top sounded like the worst position ever after hearing too many tales of breaking a guy's penis with your own pelvis. But unless I was willing to pledge lifelong celibacy (spoiler alert: that didn't happen), I might as well have been educated, right?
According to the Telegraph, a UK study found that 18 million people have suffered from either an ache or a strain due to sex. And of those people, 40 percent claimed they didn't realize they were injured until the next morning because they were so into the sex, they hadn't noticed their own pain. Apparently some of those pains are just too much to bear as five percent claimed to have taken a day off work to recover from their injuries.
It's hard to know exactly what the most common sex injury is because, as Debby Herbenick pointed out to ABC News, no one wants to admit the real reason they're injured. But if you're curious about the sex injuries you may suffer from or just want a reason to rag on your co-worker when they call in sick after a romantic weekend, here are 11 of the most common sex injuries. Just remember these two words — worth it. (And maybe "ice it", too.)
1. Vaginal Tearing
According to Women's Health, vaginal tearing is the most common sex injury women suffer from. It happens when you're not lubricated enough before your partner enters you and can lead you to bleed or just really hurt. Keep a bottle of lubricant by your bed so you can sail on past this one, OK?
2. Penile Fracture
Alright, I know this one is for the men in your life, but it's still one to be aware of. You've heard the stories of a girl getting a little too wild on top of her man when, oops, his penis has slid out of her vagina and now she's landing her pelvis hard on top of his erect member. The popping and cracking sound? Yeah, that's the sound of the tissue in his penis tearing according to Men's Health. It's actually a fairly serious injury and often requires some medical attention.
3. Sore Jaw & Neck
Blow jobs are called a job for a reason, so it's no wonder that you experience some jaw and neck pain while giving your partner one.
4. Carpet Burn
OW. Look, I get that sex is supposed to be exciting and spontaneous, but there's got to be a better place than the carpeted floor, right? At least throw down a blanket or something. The Telegraph notes that in the UK study on sex injuries, carpet burns were among the top five complaints.
Hey, balance is difficult enough during sex, but when you're really going at it or pretending you're in a porn with sex on top of the washing machine, you're bound to fall. The Telegraph reports that in the survey on sex injuries, one in ten claimed they or their partner had fallen off of the bed during sex.
6. Pulled Muscles
Cosmopolitan notes that suffering from a strained or pulled muscle is a common sex injury. Whether it's from trying too many difficult positions or simply extending your body a bit too far, it's an easy injury to have and can make you feel a little less confident about your sexual prowess.
Girl, get up and pee after sex. A urinary tract infection is the worst and can happen often when bacteria enters your urethra during intercourse. It's the second most common infection among women, according to Parents, and is most often caused by sex, making it a seriously common sex injury. (And a painful one, ow.)
8. Sore Vagina
9. Bruised Elbows & Knees
Whether it's from all that falling down or trying to keep yourself upright during oral sex, bruised elbows and knees are common sex injuries reported by survey in The Telegraph. The research also found that many people claimed their injuries were a result of falling into furniture, breaking objects around the house, and even smashing into walls, which could definitely explain the sore joints. (It's sex, you guys, not Cirque du Soleil.)
10. Bent-Back Fingers
Look, I don't need details on what your fingers were doing, but having those things bent back can really hurt. Two percent of survey-takers reported suffering from sex injuries that included their fingers being bent back according to The Telegraph.
11. Lost Object
Maybe a condom slipped off inside your vagina or you just realized you never took that tampon out — either way, losing things inside your vagina is pretty common. According to Women's Health, those are the two most common objects to get stuck in your vagina and they can totally be retrieved by your doctor.