A lot of things change the longer you're in a relationship with someone, but the one I hear complained about the most is the frequency of kissing. I've been in those relationships, too, and there are few things worse than when your partner stops kissing you. And I don't mean a peck, I mean a real kiss. For some, it's more than just foreplay — it's a foundation of love and intimacy, even more than sex. I know that sounds weird, but there are plenty of reasons not to be embarrassed about liking kissing more than sex.
Don't get me wrong, sex is incredible. I am definitely a person who thinks it's important in a relationship, but I often think kissing your partner is even more important. There is something about the closeness of a kiss, the need to trust someone (unless you're on your third Long Island iced tea and feeling particularly affectionate to strangers), and the feelings that can grow from a simple kiss. To me, it's like asking someone if they'd rather catch their partner cheating on them through sex or by kissing someone. While neither is OK in any capacity, there is a part of me that would be more hurt by my boyfriend kissing another woman than sleeping with her. There is so much intimacy and connection wrapped up in a kiss that sex can continue without, and I think it does so much more for a relationship. If you're in the same mindset, have no fear. Next time you're feeling like a weirdo for liking kissing more than sex, here are 11 reasons to keep you from being embarrassed.
1. It's More Intimate
I always think of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman saying she doesn't kiss on the mouth, and it reminds me of the intimacy of kissing. I don't know if it's the proximity to your partner, the fact that it's more propelled by love than lust, or that it's just an intimate physical contact, but it can make you feel much closer to your partner than sex.
2. It Reminds You Of Your Early Dating Days
There's nothing like those early days of dating when you and your SO were constantly kissing, right? Making out with your partner takes you back to those days and can leave you with the same fluttery feelings in your tummy all over again.
3. Kissing Is Built On Feelings
OK, sometimes those feelings are that you're drunk. But in general sober life, you don't just kiss someone because they're there. It's easier to pull them into a bedroom for a one-night stand than it is to kiss them.
4. It Reinforces Closeness & Trust
There's nothing like kissing in a relationship, and it can make you feel closer to your partner. So many people forget to kiss throughout their relationship and it can often lead their partners to feel lonely and disconnected, even if they're continuing to be intimate in other ways.
5. It's Spontaneous
While sex can be spontaneous, it's so much easier to be spontaneous with kissing. Grabbing your partner and yanking their clothes off? Difficult. But turning them around to give them a perfect kiss? Easy.
6. It Can Be Done Anywhere
Literally, anywhere. Kissing can happen any time you want with your partner and no one's going to call the police on you for indecent exposure.
7. It Is So Much Fun
Not that sex isn't fun, but making out totally is. You can put so much of your own personality into a kiss, unlike sex which limits things a bit when you're in certain positions. Everyone has that kissing move, whether it's putting your hands on your partner's neck, wrapping your fingers up in their hair, or touching them somewhere else.
8. It's Where The Spark Happens
Everyone remembers their first kiss with their SO and the spark that ignited. Kissing can bring you back to that feeling and remind you of what you're so into about your partner.
9. It Can Turn You On More Than Sex
Kissing is part of foreplay and for some, foreplay is totally necessary to getting revved up for sex. You may even find that a good make-out session does more for you than a quickie.
10. It's Less Messy
I mean, let's be real. Sex is totally messy, but kissing? Not so much.
11. You Can Try New Positions Without The Pressure Of Sex
Want to pin your partner's hands down, climb on top of them, and arch your back? Doing that move during sex may seem complicated, especially if you're trying to stay in the moment, but kissing is the perfect time to try out new positions. Making out is still totally hot, and there's less pressure to make it perfect.