Romper

11 Things Every New Stay-At-Home Mom Thinks At Some Point During The Day

There were a few months in between my departure from the full-time job I had before having my baby that I'd gone back to after maternity leave, and my when I started working again in a new field, and during those months I was hardcore, full-time, stay-at-home momming. And I'm not gonna lie, most of the time it was glorious. If they're anything like I was, the things stay-at-home moms think about are mostly related to how much they really like what they're doing, despite all stereotypes about being bored, resentful, and drunk all the time. I felt like I was living the dream as a stay-at-home mom. I’d rock my baby to sleep with gentle dance moves, appreciating the afternoon sun that came in through the kitchen. How had I never noticed it before? How had I never noticed how effing beautiful my town was? How quaint and homey our neighborhood was? How gentle and cuddly my son was when his dad and I weren’t stressfully handing him off in between meetings? How crisp and fragrant the autumn air was? Everything was amazing and there was nothing wrong with the world.

And then...reality hit. A couple weeks into my SAHM career, I caught the mother of all colds, and it knocked me on my ass. I barely had energy to blow my nose, let alone tend to my six-month-old. All of a sudden, I understood what other moms meant when they talked of being in the trenches. And even after I got better, it grew clearer and clearer that being a stay-at-home mom isn’t all sunshine and snuggles. Allow me to share the full spectrum of what went through my mind on those early days at home:

"This Is The Best!"

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Life is awesome! Here we are, just me and my baby, in our home, being awesome! Woo hoo!

"This Is The Worst!"

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Ugh, this is so boring. Here we are, just me and my baby, in our home, and it’s so boring. Boo.

"How Is It Only 9:00 A.M.?"

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I wonder how many more rounds of pat-a-cake I have before I can switch to itsy-bitsy spider without causing tears.

"My Kid Is The Cutest!"

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Wait, what am I complaining about? I’m getting gummy smiles on the regular.

"What Day Is It?"

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Actually, I’m not sure that it matters.

"Do We Need To Leave The House Today? (Or, Do I Need To Put On A Bra Today?)"

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Do I have something today? No? Does the baby? No? Guess it's time for more sweatpants.

"How Close Are We To Nap Time?"

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I mean, Facebook isn’t going to check itself.

"How Close Are We To The Arrival Of Another Adult?"

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Only five hours until someone who can talk gets home!

"If I Still Worked Outside The House, I’d Probably Be Running Late For A Meeting Right Now."

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Instead, I’m inside the house, running late for lunchtime. Now that I work from home, I actually still think about my old work life all. the. time...but with no regrets (at least, not so far).

"Why Did I Sign Up For This?"

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Typically, this one always strikes as I’m trying to make a snack for a desperately hungry little who hasn’t eaten for, oh, 20 minutes or so.

"I’m The Luckiest Mom Ever."

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This is the feeling I keep coming back to. Cheesy? Yes. But oh so true.