Parenthood is not known for its sex appeal and when it's 3 a.m., the baby needs to be fed, your toddler's wet the bed, and your pre-schooler had a nightmare, the last thing on your mind is getting it on with your partner once you're back in bed. But when else are you supposed to make the time? Between kids, work, school, soccer practices, chores, and the rest of life, it's easy to lose all your desire for sex. But intimacy with your SO is a must, and there are certain things your partner can say to get you in the mood.
Obviously you can get yourself in the mood without your partner's lines, but isn't it nice to take one thing off of your to-do list and hand it to someone else? Your priority list is already packed, and even though you want to have sex, you can't be bothered to put yourself in the mood for it.
Look, I get it. I'm an empowered, sex-positive woman, and I still want my partner to whisper things in my ear to turn me on rather than doing it myself. Literally, I have enough to worry about. Now I have to get myself horny, too?
Nope. You don't. Send your partner these 11 things so they know what to say to instantly put you in the mood. Maybe they'll try one tonight or maybe you're both still too exhausted from your kids' midnight requests, but it never hurts to have a list handy so that you two can get handsy. (You're welcome.)
1. "I'll get the baby."
It doesn't matter when your partner says it. It could be in the middle of the night, as they walk in from work, or while you're both enjoying a lazy Saturday. If the baby cries and your partner jumps up and says, "I'll get the baby", don't be surprised if you find yourself feeling some kind of way.
2. "You look hot."
If I'm bending over in the living room ad throwing toys into the basket, there's a pretty good chance my boyfriend is staring at my butt. And you know what? It makes me supremely happy. So when your partner tells you look hot, believe them, and let it soak in that d*mn, you still got it.
3. "I'll ease all your stress later."
Sexy, right? Being a parent is like living in Stressville and taking frequent trips to OMG You've Got To Be Kidding Me Right Now Town. You need a way to release that stress, so if your partner mentions helping you out in a suggestive tone, they know they're getting some tonight.
4. "I'll get you another glass of wine."
It just works, OK?
5. "I want you all to myself."
Family cuddles and group hugs are always fun, but you'll get fired up when you hear your SO say they want you to themselves — no toddlers around. It seriously ups the intimacy between you two and can make you feel very desired and sexy.
6. "Let's go to bed early tonight."
Because even if your partner means they actually want to sleep, the thought of hitting the bed as soon as the kids are out is enough to turn you on.
7. "The kids are staying at grandma's tonight."
As in, all night. Which means you don't have to carve out 15 minutes of sex in between your kid's wake-up cries. You don't have to worry about staying up too late, enjoying each other, because no one is going to demand waffles and Paw Patrol at 5:45 a.m. It means you two can take your time with each other, guilt-free because you know those kids are getting spoiled at grandma's, and have a great night.
8. "I love literally everything about you."
It's just sweet and, as a mom, you sometimes forget the parts of you that were there before you had kids. Your SO doesn't have to get specific, but it's just nice to hear that they love you for you, all of you, just as you are.
9. "I've missed you."
Another tender moment, but it can really make you want your partner and turn you on. It's so easy to get swept up in the day-to-day activities and become so busy that you barely have time to talk. Those three little words can do so much for your sex drive and your relationship.
10. "Let's plan a date night."
Just like sending the kids to grandma's, this gives you time to plan. You can work out the details, like booking a hotel room after dinner or sending the kids to their cousins' house so you can get the living room all to yourself for a night. You'll become more turned on every time you think about the date night and might end up having a mini-date in the bedroom as you plan.
11. "I want you so bad right now."
Just hot to hear, am I right? Especially when your hair is in a messy top-knot, there's spit-up on your shirt, and you both had to eat Chipotle standing up because the baby keeps crying. Seriously, let your partner say this to you, and you'll be kissing them right there over your burritos.