The holidays are here, and with them, the typical number of joyous and festive activities. Sipping hot cocoa, basking in the glow of Christmas tree lighting, unwrapping gifts, spending quality time with loved ones — everyone seems to have an extra twinkle in their eye during the holiday season. But that's not to say the holidays are without their hiccups. In fact, the holidays can be comically bad and sometimes just downright hilarious. That's why you need an arsenal of funny holiday quotes that'll make you burst into laughter.
It's really no wonder when you think about it. During the holidays, you typically spend tons of time with family and friends, and emotions are heightened. Well-intentioned relatives question everything from your dating choices to your hair color. It's like a pressure cooker that could blow its lid at any minute. Fortunately, when the proverbial lid hits the fan, so to speak, it's usually not the kind of situation that ends in total disaster. In fact, it's soon the type of memory you like to sit around and laugh about.
So heading into the stressful holiday season, remember that this too shall pass — and when it does, you'll probably walk away with some seriously funny stories to show for it. Until then, check out some of these humorous holiday quotes.
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." — Johnny Carson
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." — Phyllis Diller
"Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice." — Dave Berry
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year." — Victor Borge
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April 15th of next year." — P.J. O'Rourke
"Always jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler." — Anonymous
"No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday." — Erma Bombeck
"Nothing says holiday cheer like a cheese log." — Ellen DeGeneres
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note saying, 'Toys not included!'" — Bernard Manning
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." — Joan Rivers
"Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It's like, 'What do you want this year?' Idk, financial security? A career? A sense of purpose? A nap would be nice." — Anonymous
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." — Johnny Carson