Here's the thing about hot mess moms: If you don't know one, you are one. Because even though they've only recently become somewhat acceptable in mainstream society, hot mess moms are all around you (and always have been). Fact: If you have many fond memories of your mother driving you to school in her pajamas, you were probably raised by a hot mess mom, too. In which case you know that the chaos-bringing holidays can be an especially trying time for these already beleaguered ladies. So what are some holiday gifts for hot mess moms to help them through the hot messiest season of all?
In general, lots of the gifts you'd give to non-hot mess moms need not apply. A little personalized keepsake like an ornament with baby footprints? A hot mess mom would totally lose that before next Christmas. A fancy new appliance? If the point of said appliance is to make some sort of elaborate meal or dessert, then you're essentially adding to the mess in her kitchen. What hot mess moms need for the holidays are things that will make her life easier, not harder. And if you can't find a helpful gift, you should at least shoot for a humorous one. Because what hot mess moms need the most this year is a good laugh.
1. For The Messy-Headed Hot Mess Mom
There's a dry shampoo for every occasion in this set from IGK: JET LAG Invisible Dry Shampoo uses volcanic ash for a "lightweight cleanse;" DIRECT FLIGHT Multi-tasking Dry Shampoo contains turmeric for more cleansing power; and FIRST CLASS Detox Dry Shampoo brings out the big guns... charcoal. $42 value.
Dry shampoo is to hot mess moms what Aqua Net was to '80s teens. This set is especially cool because you can choose from three different shampoos depending on the level of "cleanse" you need (can you remember the last time you took a shower or not?).
2. For The Hot Mess With The Wrinkled Dress
Sure, it's compact and almost cute, but this multitasking gadget is a real powerhouse: It functions as both an iron and a steamer, so you can blast wrinkles fast on-the-go (even if you don't have an ironing board handy).
If a hot mess mom who regularly irons clothing exists, well, I've yet to meet her. At the same time, some outfits just aren't as cute when they're all wrinkly. This little steamer is amazing because you just have to wave it around your clothes and the wrinkles disappear — no driving yourself nuts trying not to leave those creases from the pointy part of the iron! (This can also be used as an iron, I should note, for those highly-skilled hot mess moms.)
3. For The Hot Mess Mom Who Never Remembers To Take Off Her Makeup
Get four of Wander's multitasking must-haves in this travel-ready kit: Baggage Claim Eye Masks, Lift Off Purifying and Brightening Mask, Extended Stay Hydrating Mask and Glow Ahead Face Oil, all formulated to purify, brighten and hydrate with ingredients like camu camu extract, hyaluronic acid, and goji berry.
Hot mess moms too often collapse into bed with their hours-old foundation still on. Turn her skin care routine into a self care routine that's totally irresistible with this kit from Wander Beauty, which includes sparkly eye masks, a gorgeous fuchsia peel-off mask, an oil with a divine, nectarine-ish scent, and an intense hydration mask... she definitely won't want to skip washing her face at night.
4. For The Hot Mess Mom Who Always Forgets Her Brilliant Ideas
This embroidered, vegan leather iPhone case is available for the iPhone X, 6/7/8, and 6+/7+/8PLUS... and it might just be the most honest phone case ever created.
First of all, hot mess moms have a reputation for dropping their phones maybe a little more often than cooler, tidier types. Secondly... the message on this case describes her just a little bit too well.
5. For The Hot Mess Mom Who's In Constant Planning Mode
A box of handmade, sustainable reminders to take care of yourself and "soak up the present moment," including a smudge candle, bath bomb, shower steamer, crystal jewelry, and an energy cleansing Selenite Wand.
The endless planning and scheduling and coordinating that comes with raising kids is a big stress out for hot mess moms. Give her an excuse to stay in the present moment with a box of stuff that makes her feel like a goddess.
6. For The Hot Mess Mom Who's Like, So Done Right Now
The label says this handmade soap "smells like the truth," but it actually smells much, much better (thankfully). Other soaps in this line include the mojito-scented "Soap For Day Drinking" and the "Soap For Morning People" (smells like a "sugar cereal coma").
If your soap can't make you laugh, what good is it? "Sippy cup wine" should be the official drink of the hot mess mom (tied with something aggressively caffeinated).
7. For The Hot Mess Mom With So Many To-Do Lists
Whether you're writing a to-do list or a feminist manifesto, this set of four notebooks are guaranteed to inspire (cover illustrations include Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Malala Yousafzai, Michelle Obama, and Hillary Clinton). Notebooks are 5.5" x 4.25" and filled with lined paper.
Hot mess moms oftentimes really, really do want to be organized. To that end, they make lists... lots of lists, in lots of places. (Too many places to keep track of, is the thing.) The genius of this notebook set? The different covers make it easy to keep your lists (and notes, and whatever else) separate, but not too separate that they'll end up scattered to the winds. Plus, they're as inspiring as notebooks can be.
8. For The Hot Mess Mom Who's So. Tired. Every. Morning.
Designed in collaboration with YouTube makeup guru Desi Perkins, these classic aviators with tinted lenses were originally priced at $65.
Her future's so bright, she's gotta wear shades. (Also, the sun is so bright. And the circles under her eyes are so dark.) A good pair of sunglasses can hide all manner of ills.
9. For The Hot Mess Mom Who Needs To Crash
An oversized sloth pillow that’s "ready to party" (or cuddle, same thing). Covered in faux fur, with embroidered details.
Hot mess moms are almost always in need of a nap. This friendly-looking pillow is just crying out to be cuddled with, so hopefully she'll use it as an excuse to snag a little couch time.
10. For The Hot Mess Mom Who Does Her Makeup On The Way To Work
Everything you need for a flawless base and dramatic lashes packed into a cute little pouch: One mini Loose Mineral Foundation Powder, one full-size Long Lash Vegan Mascara in Black, and a Limited Edition Mini Kabuki Brush. (Valued at over $107.)
Disclaimer: Putting on mascara whilst driving is dangerous. But for the mom who does her makeup in the morning on the train (or, okay, at stoplights), this handy kit has everything she needs to go from "just woke up" to "woke up like this."
11. For The Hot Mess Mom Who Sleeps Through Her Shower
From Goop's own line, this body wash combines the balancing benefits of ashwagandha with the invigorating properties of Japanese shiso leaf, Indian black pepper oil, and pink peppercorn berries.
Know a hot mess mom who secretly aspires to be the next lifestyle influencer? This energizing body wash from Gwyneth Paltrow's own Goop line might just be the magic potion she needs to tap into her inner guru.
12. For The Hot Mess Mom Who's Straight Up Messy
This soy wax candle's "holiday-inspired aroma" will fill the house with the warm, spicy scent of organic ginger, ginger lily, and other pure flower and plant essences (for up to 50 hours!).
As any hot mess mom can tell you, things like an overflowing laundry hamper or a sink full of day-old dishes can get a little stinky. Thankfully, this candle from Aveda will make the house smell like everything good about the holidays (no matter how many dirty socks are hiding in the corner).
After a very frustrating first birth experience, this Deaf mother wanted a change. Will the help of two Deaf doulas give the quality communication and birth experience this mom wants and deserves? Watch Episode Four of Romper's Doula Diaries, Season Two, below, and visit Bustle Digital Group's YouTube page for more episodes, launching Mondays in December.