Sex may be one of the most beautiful, intimate moments you can share with someone. But between the tossing, turning, and sweating (not to mention other bodily fluids) every couple is bound to have their share of bedroom mishaps. Every so often, sex with your SO will make you blush. And that’s OK. Because despite what the movies want us to believe, there are some pretty embarrassing things that happen during sex.
Look, our bodies are not perfect. They create noises and fluids whenever they want, weirding out any unsuspecting person. Put two bodies together in a bed, add a few intricate moves, and you’re basically asking for an awkward moment (And, sadly, not one starring Michael B. Jordan.) But you can relax, because as embarrassing as these moments may seem, they are totally normal! And they happen to most people.
The trick to overcoming these moments, is to remember that you’re not the first to experience them and that your partner (if they are a decent human being) doesn’t care. Sure, they might want to giggle after you fart during foreplay, but that won’t stop them from throwing you onto the bed and getting it on. To help you relax and accept the awkward moments, here are 12 embarrassing but normal things that happen during sex.
Also known as vagina farts, queefing is that moment when your vagina lets out a noisy burst of wind. This usually happens when you’re having some crazy good sex, as the extra hard thrusting makes it easier for air to get trapped in your vagina. Totally normal, but still totally embarrassing. Luckily, there are some ways to prevent queefing. Or at least, minimize its occurrence.
2Aunt Flo Arrives
Not only are you lacking a tampon, but now there’s blood on the bed (and potentially your partner). Before you turn as red as, well, you know, breathe! Yes it’s a little mortifying, but once you clean up the mess it’ll be forgotten. And if your partner is still a little freaked out, just remind them about the benefits to having sex on your period.
3You Gag During A BJ
Sometimes you can get a little too ambitious during a blow job, and then that “oh no, I’m going to barf” feeling takes over. You try to hide it, but you worry that your partner just heard you gag. To be honest, your partner was probably enjoying himself too much to notice. (And if he did he can’t complain because, hello, you’re giving him a blow job.) If this is a regular problem, however, you may want to look into ways to control gagging.
4You Can’t Get Out Of Your Skinny Jeans
This happens to me more often than I’d like to admit and you’d think I’d just stop wearing them by now. You’re trying to be sexy, sliding off your blouse, slowly pulling down your zipper, and now you’re on the floor because you fell over trying to pull your skinny jeans off. It happens to the best of us. Laugh it off with your partner and then spend the rest of your time together without pants. Life seems to work better that way.
5He Can’t Get An Erection
This is a potentially uncomfortable situation for both of you. Your partner is probably embarrassed, and you’re internally freaking out that you did something wrong. Rest assured, his inability to “get it up” has nothing to do with you. Instead of panicking, reassure your partner that this isn’t a big deal.
6You’re As Dry As The Sahara
You’ve enjoyed some intense foreplay and are ready to get it on, but your lady parts didn’t seem to get the memo. There are several reasons your vagina might be dry, but luckily all of them can be remedied with a little bit of lube. You might be a little embarrassed that you have to turn to some aid, but skipping lube makes for a painful, unenjoyable time.
7You Just Cut the Cheese
If you experience a standard, run-of-the-mill fart during sex, simply smile and move along. There’s a lot going on down there and any pressure on your midsection, whether from thrusting or your partner lying on top of your abdomen, can cause you to let one rip right there in the middle of sex. Your SO is way too distracted by you being naked to be concerned about a fart.
8You Can’t Cum
Situations like this can make you feel frustrated, but you also you don’t want your partner to think it’s their fault. (Or have them question you a thousand times about why you aren’t cumming.) Unfortunately, orgasms don’t always happen and it can be for a variety of reasons. Totally normal, so stop thinking about it and enjoy your night without the big O.
There are few things more embarrassing than your boobs deciding to lactate as you gyrate on top of your partner. It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant, breastfeeding, or just had a baby – this is normal. You can always prevent this by wearing a bra, but if you want the girls to go free then you should mop up that milk and keep going.
10Your Legs Give Out
Girl-on-top is known for being one of the sexiest positions (for men and women alike), but damn it’s difficult. If you decide to go knee-only, then you don’t get enough momentum to feel anything. But if you try to balance on your feet to get a bit of a bounce, then you tire out quickly. Before you fall to floor (or, rather, the sheets), tell your partner it’s time to switch.
There’s often a wet spot after sex, but what if you continue to create a tiny pool of bodily fluids in your bed sheets? It may feel like you’re wetting yourself, but it’s just a combination of your own fluids, your partner’s fluids, and any lube you used letting themselves out like true gentlemen. Simply wipe it up and throw your sheets in the wash for good measure.
12The Condom Gets Stuck
Masturbating in front of your partner? Major turn-on. Reaching inside your vagina to pull out a latex balloon filled with semen? Not so much. There’s no way to feel better about the situation, other than acknowledging that condoms get stuck inside women and asking your partner to hold on to it next time they pull out.
One minute you’re enjoying some arousing foreplay, and then next thing you know your partner is shaking you awake. Maybe you spent the day running from meeting to meeting or just had too many glasses of red wine at dinner, but sometimes people fall asleep during sex. You can try and play it off like you were Sting and experiencing one of those tantric orgasms, but chances are that your partner knows the truth. (Because they’ve fallen asleep, too.)