No matter how many articles you read about sex, they all seem to say one thing — it could be hotter. With new body-contorting positions to try, bondage and rough sex becoming less taboo to talk about, and suggestions for toys to spice up the bedroom, it's a wonder anyone ever sleeps. But despite all of the ways to make a romp in the sheets hotter and sexier, you should not be embarrassed about liking vanilla sex.
I'm all for trying new things when it comes to sex and broadening my horizons, but in an effort to make the sex you're having the hottest sex imaginable, many forget to focus on the best part about it — the intimacy with your partner. Vanilla sex may sound totally boring, but that's the sex that brings you closer to your SO. It's the sex you want when you've missed each other, the sex you have when it's time to make-up, and the sex you have when you just want to show them how much you love them. Vanilla sex doesn't mean it's lackluster or orgasm-free. It simply means you're skipping the whips, the bondage, and the kink factors worthy of famous porn stars. Enjoying vanilla sex doesn't make you a prude and with these 13 reasons, you don't have to be embarrassed about proclaiming your love for it.
1There's No Right Or Wrong Way To Have Sex
As long as there's consent, there's no right or wrong way to have sex, which means you should never be embarrassed about your likes or dislikes. Sex is not the same for everyone and no one but you gets a say in your sex life.
2It Allows You To Focus On An Orgasm
Sure, you can still orgasm when you're role-playing or watching yourself have sex in a mirror, or needing to establish a safe word. But because vanilla sex takes away all of the "wrappings" and distractions, you can truly focus on having an orgasm and making your partner cum.
Look, sometimes you just want to have sex. You don't want to pull out all of the toys or change into some fetish costume. Sometimes you just want to grab your partner, pull them into your bed and do it. Vanilla sex is easy and I'm not opposed to making something enjoyable in my life also easy to do.
Sex toys are expensive, you guys. So are specialty oils, bondage toys, and other kinky supplies. With vanilla sex, all you need are some genitals. And, hey, you've got those already!
5It Doesn't Mean Missionary Only
So many people assume that vanilla sex is strictly heterosexual, missionary style sex. But vanilla sex simply means there's nothing too kinky or risque — it doesn't mean it's a wham-bam thank you ma'am ordeal. It can take all night, it can be in different positions, and it can still be hot and heavy.
6It Connects You With Your Partner
Obviously, you and your SO can connect no matter what kind of sex you're having, but with vanilla sex, you can really work on your intimacy. Without role-playing or things like whips and chains, you can just focus on your partner and make sex about your connection, not about getting off.
7It Can Be Done Almost Anywhere
It's kind of hard to get kinky in the backseat of a car, but with vanilla sex, you can have it almost anywhere at any time.
8The Basics Are Everything
Look, there would be no kinky sex without a foundation of vanilla sex, right? The basics are everything and it's always fun to go back to them. It's like, you can enjoy emails and the freedom technology gives, but everyone loves receiving a handwritten letter. (The pen is mightier, am I right?)
9It's In Your Comfort Zone
Even if you want to try a little rougher, kinkier sex, you may find yourself still being pulled to vanilla. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! Vanilla sex is a comfort zone is where you can be yourself and enjoy pleasure without worrying if you're doing it right or if your partner's enjoying it. And there's nothing wrong with comfort, especially when it pertains to your sexual relationships.
10It Teaches You What You Like
Prefer oral over penetration? Can you only orgasm if you're on top? Is doggy style your favorite position? You can answer these questions with vanilla sex. Vanilla sex teaches you what you like, which makes it even easier for you if you decide to add some kink into your routine.
11It's Free From Pressure
When you delve into the world of kinky sex, you may be totally overwhelmed. There's often a lot of pressure there to try new things, even if you don't want to, because that's part of being "kinky." But vanilla sex has no pressure, no expectations, and no rules. It's sex to be enjoyed in any matter you want, and that's more than enough reason to love it.
12It Gives You Confidence
You totally know what you're doing when it comes to vanilla sex, so it can make you feel even sexier and more confident than kinky sex does. Vanilla sex is what makes me feel like a goddess, and not like I'm trying to be a sexier, more pornographic version of myself.
13It Doesn't Require Directions
I'm all for talking dirty in bed and communicating with your partner, but no one wants to give directions. Asking to go harder or slower is one thing, but vanilla sex means never having to say "OW, no those handcuffs are WAY too tight" and killing the mood.