Family road trip coming up? You might consider scanning your playlist for songs you had no idea were about sex and removing them from the lineup. After all, you don't want your little one grooving to anything too sexuality explicit. Or maybe you do— it's never too early to start talking to your kid about sex positivity. Or maybe you just want to pick up some new techniques and you're curious what the sexiest singers are really talking about. Knowledge is power and pleasure, as I like to say.
Let's face it. This is a world where an eggplant emoji is taken with a wink and a nod, so isn't everything about sex? I am that person who can find a sexual pun in just about anything. All you need to be that person too, is to spend an afternoon reading through Urban Dictionary, master the art of the raised eyebrow, and have a wild imagination. I mean, jeez, it's sex, go nuts, people.
So with that in mind, it might be a stretch to say you had no idea the following songs had absolutely nothing to do with sex. But, here's the down and dirty lyrical details to keep you in the know. The results will enlighten, and maybe disgust or arouse you.
1"Truffle Butter" By Nicki Minaj featuring Drake, Lil' Wayne
Although all of the above artists love to brag about their expensive tastes in the finer things in life, like truffles, truffle butter does not come from the Périgord region in France. Nor does it grow with oak and hazelnut trees. According to Urban Dictionary, truffle butter is an unhygienic lubricant that I don't recommend.
2"If U Seek Amy" By Britney Spears
From the pop diva's 2008 album Circus, this song boasts a "clever" double entendre. If you say "If U Seek Amy" quickly, you'll know why.
3"Poker Face" By Lady Gaga
This number one hit isn't exactly about gambling, but perhaps a nod to Gaga's go-go dancer days. The lyrics, "Just like a chick in the casino/Take your bank before I pay you out hint to how dancers flirt for cash" certainly suggest so. And when she's bluffing with her "muffin," she's not talking about baked goods, people. The song also acknowledges the singer's bisexual orientation, as Lady Gaga has always been candid about being bi, according to Huffington Post. Listen to the chorus for how Gaga switches between being smitten by both men and women in the chorus.
4"Birthday Cake" By Rihanna
Who doesn't love to lick the icing off a delicious slice of birthday cake, even if it's not your birthday? Again, folks, baked goods are most definitely a euphemism. Ass eating is having a cultural moment, and Rihanna is totally going there in this song.
5"Glad You Came" By The Wanted
Isn't that sweet? I'm glad I came too.
6"London Bridge" By Fergie
Although Fergie could be a bit more specific about the exact position, (she's such a tease) the songstress isn't just talking about getting excited. The London Bridge is a group sex position, in case you were wondering.
7"Gorilla" By Bruno Mars
It's fun to watch gorillas go at it. I don't think he means at the zoo, just sayin'.
8"Whistle" By Flo Rida
Flo Rida isn't a boy scout, so I doubt he's talking about a literal whistle here, right? I think he wants you to put your lips around something else... and blow.
9"Good Morning" By John Legend
If I got to wake up next to Chrissy Teigen, I'd write a song about hot morning sex too.
10"Dark Horse" By Katy Perry
A lot of people speculated that the "dark horse" Katy Perry sings about in this song is heroin. Or that the lyrics are Satanic. But, Popcrush suggested, and I concur, that this song is about a girl going hard, and loving with passion. Pretty sexy if you ask me.
11"Crank That" By Soulja Boy
While this dance became a craze in 2007, and at naughty bachelor/bachelorette parties ever since, it's actually based on a vulgar way of dealing with ejaculate, post-sex. If you're into that, great. I prefer to send my sheets to the dry cleaners.
12"LA8 CMMR" By Lily Allen
Although this is obviously a love song, I'm going to assume that Allen husband is no one minute man. Can't you work things out, girl?!
13Feeling Myself By Nicki Minaj Featuring Beyoncé
I'm not surprised to see Ms. Minaj on this list again. The "Anaconda" singer, is not shy when it comes to bragging about her sex life. She's at it again, this time with Queen Bey, to extol the joy of self-pleasure. Props to these ladies for getting women hyped to feel themselves too.