If you are still receiving text messages from a woman in her third trimester of pregnancy, congratulations! You have managed to support her through arguably one of the most tumultuous times of her life. You must be an amazing friend and confidante, and she is lucky to have you. Sometimes I wonder why there’s no “Texts From Your Pregnancy” meme because the slew of communications I sent off to my friends and family (and my boss; oops) during pregnancy were...questionable, to say the least. Though, by the time I was in the home stretch of the third trimester, my texts were a lot more focused. My eyes were on the prize, you could say. The physical symptoms were no longer new, the end was in sight, and I’d actually set foot in a baby store a handful of times and had a sense of what purpose a humidifier could bring to my life.
However, that’s not to say that I still didn’t need the support of my friends and loved ones; I totally did. But I was asking for it in different ways, and for different reasons than the previous two trimesters. And so, without further ado, here’s just a small sampling of the kind of texts that we all send out in the third trimester:
On Diet Frustrations
No, it’s definitely not weird. It’d be more weird if you weren’t, actually.
On Never In Your Life Feeling As Frumpy As You Do In Your Preggo Clothes
There’s no shame in sweatpants with elastic around the ankles. OK, maybe there’s not much shame in sweatpants with elastic around the ankles.
On Your Size
Violet, you’re turning violet, Violet!
On The Status The Baby’s Room
Show me a first-time pregnant mom who’s not even a little weirded out by the presence of a crib in her home, and I will show you a mythical unicorn.
On Being So, So Tired But Unable To Sleep Comfortably
It’s not even that funny of a joke, you guys. Every parent-to-be knows there is no sleep in their future. Pregnant ladies don’t need to have it dangled in front of them like a carrot (or something that is actually delicious).
On Being Excited
We had a pair of white, fluffy footie jammies in our room for the bulk of my pregnancy because a) the baby’s room wasn’t set up yet and b) I just like looking at them. True story.
Due Date Reminder
How is it that these are some of the fastest and slowest weeks of your life?
On Your Nesting Response
The strangest thing about nesting is how crucial some of the chores feel. Should you have a friend express any sort of stress over, like, the amount of dust on the underside of her dresser drawers, the best thing you can do is just calmly talk her down.
On Disbelief Over The Baby’s Impending Arrival
If it wasn’t for passing by the occasional mirror or my tendency to maintain a general awareness of what’s happening with my body, I could have convinced myself everything was normal and that there wasn't, in fact, an 8-pound game-changer rapidly zooming toward my life like the boulder scene in Indiana Jones.
On False Labor
At least false contractions help you feel ready? Nature’s built-in Boy Scout motto.
Often this is triggered by realizing that there are easily three hundred different kinds of diapers we can buy, let alone how much we could have saved for their college fund if we’d skipped Starbucks, like, every other day in our lives.
Truer words have never been typed with our thumbs.
On Appreciation Part 2
She will need you more than ever.