I think my kid was about 10 months old when I dished out the first (of many) apologies to my mother. My daughter had grabbed something small and was about to push it towards her lips and internal panic (on my part) ensued. I opened my mouth, and my mother’s voice came out. As moms, we all take this silent oath not to become our mothers, but it's almost an inevitable conclusion when we realize that our mothers were, without a doubt, actually right. So, of course, along with this realization are things every new mom apologizes to her mother for, because sometimes it really does take you experiencing motherhood for yourself to appreciate all the ways your mother was amazing, and all the ways you were kind of the worst.
I had grand designs of raising my children to have a charmed life. I have few qualms with my parents' childrearing philosophies, since my brother and I turned out to be fairly evolved, functional adults. I didn't have a toxic mother or an abusive mother or an unstable mother (like many individuals do) but I did have plans of doing things differently. Maybe more, “Let me explain why cleaning up is important,” and less, “Because I said so.” I wanted to constantly make my kids feel heard and understood when they voiced their displeasure about a particular parenting choice, instead of telling them they'd be in trouble if they didn't just listen to mom. I wanted more patience and less exasperation for my kids.
Yeah right.
Has your mom ever teased: “One day, when you’re older, you’ll understand?” I used to scoff at that. But now I’m older. With children. And I totally understand. My mother was so right about so many things and, sadly but not surprisingly, it took having a baby for me to realize that she was right and I was a pain. I am not sure if any seasoned parent knows, “best,” but they sure as hell know more than a brand new mom does. All of this, plus all the hormones and emotions that a new mother experiences that give her all the feels, are why new moms end up apologizing to their mothers for these 13 things. I mean, better late than never, right?