While pregnancy and childbirth aren't something to shake a fist at, I can honestly say that the hardest part of becoming a new mom is getting back into the swing of things. A baby changes literally every aspect of your life, including your relationship with your partner both emotionally and physically. And postpartum sex? Totally a thing that's filling your mind with anxiety. But there are some tips for better postpartum sex that can relieve you of your worries and help make the intimacy with your SO totally worth it.
If you're rolling your eyes at the thought of postpartum sex, I hear you. Sex wasn't on my radar after I had my daughter either, and it's totally normal. You've just given birth for crying out loud. Your emotions may not be able to handle the thought of intimacy with your partner, but there's also the physical changes. Maybe you're feeling self-conscious about your body (even though it carried and birthed a baby, so you should be feeling like a rockstar), or the healing process has taken longer than you thought. Maybe you can't even fathom getting intimate with your SO because all you can think about is your new baby and motherhood is gripping you from every angle.
Or maybe you've been waiting on your doctor to give you the green light since you gave birth and are ready to pounce on your bae at any second.
No matter how excited or meh you are about postpartum sex, it's still nothing to fear. With these 13 hacks for better postpartum sex, you can make it more than just reconnecting with your partner ― you can make it damn good, too.
1. Have Lube On Standby
Vaginal dryness is a common problem for new moms according to Parents. So if you need some extra lubrication, keep a bottle of lube on standby. Have it on your bedside table or wherever you're going to be doing the deed so you don't need a manhunt to find it among all of the baby things cluttering your house.
2. And Keep A Towel Nearby, Too
A towel is essential in postpartum sex. Even though you've received the green light from your doctor, you may still experience some bleeding and leaking boobs are a major postpartum annoyance. A towel can make wiping up the mess a little easier so you can just focus on sex.
3. Wear A Bra
Not only does a bra help with breast milk leakage, but your boobs can also really hurt after having a baby. If leaking doesn't bother you, awesome, but you may still want to slip on your sexiest bra to keep your boobs from feeling like they're going to bounce right off of your chest and hit the floor.
4. Get Your Baby To Sleep First
Or at least put them somewhere safe where they are happy. If that's in their crib or the swing, it's up to you. But you won't be able to relax and enjoy yourself if your little one is staring at you from the other side of the bed or trying to get your attention.
5. And Make Sure The Baby Is Fed & Dry
I can not stress this enough. Clean diaper and a full belly can buy you some time away from your bundle of joy.
6. Hire A Babysitter
Sometimes your baby won't sleep. Sometimes even though your baby naps like a champ, you're still convinced that they're going to wake up right as you're about to cum. In these cases, just go ahead and hire a babysitter. Send your baby off to grandma's or ask your neighbor to watch the little one for an hour or two. You can pretend like you're catching up on sleep if you want, but when you know the baby is in safe, capable hands and won't be disturbing you, you can enjoy yourself a little more
7. Wear Something That Makes You Feel Good
If it's lingerie, put it on. If you want to wear a dress and pull it up for sex, go for it. If you want to be totally naked, done. Sex in general should be about making you feel good, but postpartum sex can come with a whole list of things like body issues and feeling self conscious, so making sure you feel good is super important.
8. Indulge In Something Relaxing
What calms you down and makes you feel relaxed? A glass of wine? A hot bubble bath? A massage? Find what chills you out and makes you feel totally relaxed and indulge in it before you two hit the sheets. If you're rushing to get prepared for sex and worried about the baby, you're not going to be able to relax and enjoy it.
9. Remember Foreplay
Quickies my have been your go-to before pregnancy, but when it comes to postpartum sex, you may find that you need a little more warming up. According to Parenting, 27 percent of new moms have reported that they find it more difficult to orgasm after having a baby. So take your time and use foreplay to really put the intimacy back into your postpartum sex.
10. Use Pillows To Help In Certain Positions
Pillows are miracle workers in the bedroom, especially when it comes to postpartum sex. Slide a couple under your hips in the missionary position to ease the pressure off of any stitches or tears. You can also use them to lean your chest against during doggy style so all the weight is not on your arms, nor are you squishing those giant boobs pregnancy gave you into the bed.
11. Don't Wait Until You're Exhausted
Seriously, sex is not a strictly bedtime thing. Have sex when you're feeling good, you're awake, and you're ready to get it on. If you wait until after you've done the laundry, finished the dishes, and cleaned the bedroom, you're going to pass out instead.
12. Have Sex Somewhere That Won't Make You Think Of The Baby
If your baby's crib is in your bedroom, do it in the living room. If the living room is full of toys and baby clothes that need folding, head to the basement. If you're trying to have sex in a room surrounded by things that remind you of your baby, you're not going to be able to concentrate.
13. Get Vocal
Now is not the time to be shy in the bedroom. You have to communicate with your partner, whether it's asking for what you want or letting them know what you don't like. Postpartum sex can be incredibly emotional and mean so much more than just being physical.