Life
I’m so lucky I have an amazing mother-in-law who seems to love me more than her son at times. She also lives far away in Colorado, so she doesn’t even have the chance to be pushy or judgy — not that she would anyway because she’s the best (love you, Mama Schreier!). Unfortunately, other folks aren't quite as lucky as me. If your MIL seems to hate you and everything you love and you're ready to throw caution to the wind, there are plenty of baby names your mother-in-law will hate.
When I think of an awful MIL, I think of someone who is openly judge-y about your parenting choices and someone who goes out of their way to contradict you when it comes to your kid. They also loathe everything unconventional, especially if it’s something you came up with or something “those damn millennials” are doing these days. They sure have a lot of opinions, especially when it comes to naming your kid (their future grandchild). Not only will dumb names probably send them over the edge, but unconventional spellings of traditional names will do the trick, too. Your MIL is sure to lose her mind over the very idea of her grandchild's birth certificate bearing one of these monikers... in fact, for an instant viral video, suggest one of these and film her reaction.
1
Mhavryck
I feel like your child may have a hard time spelling their own name if it’s spelled this way, and your MIL will definitely think so too. Back in her day, Mhavryck was spelled Maverick. But this updated version was included on a Reddit thread about the worst names users ever heard, as Yahoo! Entertainment reported, so there have to be a few Mhavrycks out there.
2
Little Sweetmeat
Let’s be real. With this one, not only are you punishing your MIL, but your child as well. And this isn't just a "what if?" scenario, either: Little Sweetmeat was also one of the names on the aforementioned Reddit thread.
3
Kale
Nothing screams millennial and hipster (two things your MIL probably despises) like naming your kid kale. No matter how much you love this delicious, delicious green, your MIL will not love this name.
4
Eehann
I mean, I can see how this would be kinda cool, I guess. It’s certainly different. But your MIL would hate this for sure. “Why can’t you just spell it normally, like I-A-N?” she’ll ask, in her judge-y way.
5
Abcde
I’m sorry. But how would you even pronounce this? As Mom Junction reported, 328 babies born in this country were named Abcde, with the majority of them being girls. Your MIL may be right in hating this one, sorry to say. You might as well have named your kid Qwerty (the five top-left letters on the keyboard).
7
Bethanie
Your MIL will hate that you spelled your kid’s name with an “ie” instead of a “y.” Trust. But at least little Bethanie can dot her i with a heart in middle school?
8
Aliviyah
This one to me isn’t the worst. It’s kind of phonetic. Sort of. No matter. Your MIL will make it a point to spell the name O-L-I-V-I-A on every birthday or holiday card ever. Passive aggressively shaming your choices. As usual.
9
Alyzzabeth
I could maybe get behind this if not for the double "Z" thing. I feel like that’s a lot for a little kid to handle when learning how to spell and write their name. That’s why my husband and I didn’t hyphenate our last names when we got married. Poor kid would’ve had to spell out Berwager-Schreier. Holy crap. Oh, and your MIL will act like she doesn’t know how to pronounce this name properly until the day she dies.
10
Klowee
Oh, how the spelling of this name will send your MIL to an early grave! Perhaps you wouldn’t mind that though... joke! Joking.
11
Lukiss
Uh... nope.
12
Grayss
It literally took me until I almost finished this article to figure out this is just another spelling for "Grace." And if I'm that slow, I'm sure your MIL is, too. Right? Right? Surely she'll think it's Grey's, like Anatomy, like me. And it will irritate her to no end.
13
MicKenzi
If this isn't the most southern thing I've ever seen I'll eat my hat (excuse another southernism). Not too bad, especially if you're in the south, but your MIL will despise it and probably just call your kid Kenzi. She'll spell it Kinsey, maybe. Definitely not MicKenzi.
14
Skarlytt
Not only will your MIL think this is a "loose woman's name" — something about Nathaniel Hawthorne — but she'll hate how you spelled it. Scarlett (or Skarlytt) is cute-sounding name in my book, no matter how you spell it.
Now, you just have to decide what's more important: Annoying your MIL, or giving your kid a name they can live with?
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