Valentine's Day arrives in a flurry of hearts and candy, spiking stress in new moms everywhere as they struggle to figure out how to celebrate while caring for an infant. High romance is generally the last thing on your mind postpartum — these 14 memes represent your new mom struggles on Valentine's Day way better than a rom com or Hallmark card ever could — yet you're still expected to throw on some lingerie and cook a romantic dinner even if you gave birth last week. I'm calling bull.
Having a fresh baby is more than a full time job, and adding anything on top of that, let alone something as emotionally and physically exhausting as romance (read: sex), can be majorly stressful. C'mon, everyone knows Valentine's Day has major X-rated undertones, and postpartum sex makes that challenging. Whether it's the conversations you have before attempting to get back in the saddle, weird stuff that happens to your breasts, or the myriad of physical and emotional challenges that come from the experience, making love after pushing a child out of you isn't exactly easy. And even if you didn't give birth to your little one, you're still so tired from caring for your baby that intimacy sounds like a nightmare.
But keep in mind, some moms swear that postpartum sex can be really pleasurable, so you might be about to have the best February 14 of your life; who knows! Maybe you're totally over V-Day this year, but your new mommy joy might make you more than ready for a little lovin' too. Either way, these memes get you, so read on for a laugh in honor of Cupid.
1. Finally Realizing It's V-Day In Your Newborn Stupor
Listen, you don't even know your name you're so tired, let alone what day it is. Shout out to your Google calendar for the reminder.
2. And Then 0.2 Seconds Later When The Baby Starts Screaming
Cool, it's a holiday, but you've still gotta deal with spit up and diapers for the next 24 hours. Babies don't care about V-Day; sorry Cupid.
3. When Date Night Has A New Time
Um, the baby woke up before the sun did, so there's no way you'll make it past 8 p.m. Maybe next year.
4. The Look Your Baby Gives You When You Think About Going Out For The Night
You mean... you go places... without me?
5. All Dressed Up With No Place To Go
You might miss the days of little black dresses and finding your highest pair of pumps, but being home with your little onesie model is a pretty great way to spend the day too.
6. When Your Gift Desires Change A Bit Postpartum
Flowers are useless; chicken is everything.
7. Trying To Get Some Sexy Time In Like
The baby doesn't care if you're in the mood; they need to be fed now.
8. Really, What Were You Thinking?
Maybe you'll have better luck once your bundle of joy can sleep through the night.
9. Feeling The Love, More Like
You're watching a tiny human 24/7, and you can't drink because of the breastfeeding. Love is not really your focus right now.
10. Setting The Mood Like
Malcolm pretty much sums up trying to get back in the sex game come Valentine's Day after that postpartum break.
11. When The Baby Finally Falls Asleep, But Your Nipples Are Too Chapped For Anything Besides Breastfeeding
Chapped or bleeding nipples are surprisingly common when you're breastfeeding, and you probably don't want anything sexual happening to them when they're sore and cracked. Ahh, the joys of motherhood.
12. Or If You Stopped Breastfeeding Just In Time For V-Day
Sure, your partner is cool, but alcohol is everything. Catch you writing a love poem in it's honor.
13. When You Feel All The Things
Being a new mom is challenging, but the overwhelming love you feel for your little one makes it all worth it. It might just be the sweetest Valentine's Day you've ever had, thanks to your little bundle of joy.
14. And Finally, When Your Partner Thinks V-Day Is A Great Night For Baby Number 2
The first one turned out so good; how could you not? Happy V-Day, mommies!