Ahh, Christmas. It's the best day of the year, unless you're a parent. No, if you're in charge of any little monsters on December 25, the morning after Santa comes to town is as stressful time as any. There's momentary joy and simplicity as the kids celebrate their new toys, but that vanishes within moments as they start fussing at you to assemble the new Lego set and put batteries in the mechanical dog. It's honestly pretty funny how short lived your respite from holiday stress is, so here are 15 hilarious Instagram captions for your Christmas morning photos.
I'm not saying Christmas isn't fun when you have kids. If anything, it's more magical than it was before you had them, because you get to experience the joy of the day through their eyes, bringing you back to the time when you believed in Santa, too. But there's no denying the holidays can bring all kinds of tension into your life (and your relationship with your partner), and I'm of the mind that the best way to deal with the added pressure is to laugh at it. I've got legit scientific backing for my theory, too; laughter has actual health benefits, like relieving your stress response and improving your immune system, according to Mayo Clinic.
The moral of my story here is that Christmas can be stressful but a giggle can help, so here are some funny Insta captions to help you relax. Thank me when you feel your blood pressure decreasing.
1"Did you know you are required by Christmas law to wake up before 7 a.m. to open presents?"
Finally, an honest way to caption a photo of you and your little ones on Christmas morning. You'll look exhausted; the kids will look ecstatic; it'll be adorable.
2"Don't get your tinsel in a tangle"
Is it weird if I make this my new mantra? This descriptor would be especially funny under a photo you made the kids pose for before they were allowed to see what Santa brought them. But please don't wrap actual tinsel around your children.
3"Oh, our living room always looks like this"
No matter how many trash bags you lay out in preparation for the gift opening-palooza, your living room will inevitably look like a wrapping paper factory threw up after the kids tear into their presents. Pair the words with a photo of the mess formerly known as your living room.
4"Santa Baby, give mommy an early bedtime tonight"
Back in the day, you might have wanted that blue convertible or the Tiffany box, but after doing Christmas with small children, eight hours of uninterrupted sleep will be the only thing on your list. All parents will be pressing like on this post.
5"Grandma: 1. Reindeer: 0"
It's always fun when the grandparents come to town for the holidays, and you might want to reassure your followers that your in-laws are alive and well since it's the season grandma is at risk of getting hit by flying animals. I can't think of a better caption for a shot of the kids and the grandparents.
6"Still not sure how they made it on the nice list, but here we are"
Listen, there's no use denying your kiddos can be terrors sometimes. I'd bet money other parents are wondering the same thing about their own kids on Christmas morning, so you'll be probs celebrated for writing down what they're all thinking.
7"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year" — Victor Borge
Sure, you could put a sweet caption underneath a photo of your out of town family gathered by the tree, but the irony of you and your loved ones smiling and hugging each other with this sassy description is just too good not to use. Extra points if you manage to get a pic where everyone looks good.
8"Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal" — "Home Alone 2"
You might see a few people using this caption, but it's a classic for a reason. Kevin McCallister is, like, the official mascot of the holidays; I can't imagine Christmas without him. Besides, the quote will be super funny underneath a photo of your kids aggressively unwrapping presents.
9 ."Dear Santa, before I explain, how much do you know already?"
Please use this with a picture of you sipping tea and acting like you have no idea where the rest of the Christmas cookies went. If letters to Santa can't be honest, Instagram captions should be.
10"MAX. HELP ME... I'm FEELING." — "How The Grinch Stole Christmas"
I would actually laugh out loud if I saw this with a pic of someone's kids looking precious. Christmas makes even the most cynical among us feel some type of way, so this quote from the How The Grinch Stole Christmas is perfect if you're looking for a funny way to let your followers know how much you love your brood.
11"You'll shoot your eye out, kid" — "A Christmas Story"
This caption will be extra funny if you post it with a picture of your kid playing with that new toy camera you got them. (Get it? Because shoot, like take a picture... )
12"Why does Santa always ask what do you want? Why is it never how are you?"
If you've got that iconic pic of your kids screaming on Santa's lap, posting it on Christmas morning with this question for the ages will be sure to get you a like and a laugh. Who doesn't love a philosophical and funny post?
13"I hope Santa's enjoying the start of his 364 day vacation"
I'm imagining a candid shot of you trying to put together four different "some assembly required gifts" while the kids tug on your arms. Santa doesn't know how lucky he is.
14"Jingle bells, the baby smells, the toddler already broke his brand new bike"
It's always fun to poke fun at your chaotic family on the Insta feed, and drawing on a Christmas classic just makes the teasing even better. Feel free to spice up the lyrics to fit your fam.
15"I can't move my arms!"
This A Christmas Story reference is the only way to caption a photo of your little ones holding up their Christmas loot. Alternatively, you can use it when you bundle them in their winter gear and send them outside to play so you can have a few minutes of peace and quiet. Whatever floats your boat.
After experiencing a traumatic c-section, this mother sought out a doula to support her through her second child’s delivery. Watch as that doula helps this mom reclaim the birth she felt robbed of with her first child, in Episode Three of Romper's Doula Diaries, Season Two, below. Visit Bustle Digital Group's YouTube page for more episodes, launching Mondays in December.