Getting to know someone is a lifelong process; just when you think you really know a person, they reveal a facet you'd never seen before. This is good, because otherwise you might get irrevocably bored; relationships stay interesting because people are always changing. But in seeking intimacy, people are always growing closer together and trying to know one another better. One way to improve the bond is to ask questions that will make your relationship better the more you ask them.
A good talk is often predicated by a great, open-ended question. And if you can't think of many questions (or even one), it's covered here for you. These questions to ask your SO are wonderful for building a connection and cementing trust. And remember, how you respond to your partner's answers is just as important as their answers.
Of course, timing is everything. You don't want to wait until your partner comes home from a crap day at work to sit them down and ask what their deepest fears in life are – not if you want a response that is going to actually improve your relationship. Grab a cup of coffee on relaxing morning, or open a discussion during a winter walk, and enjoy the intimacy.
1. What Do I Do That Makes You Feel Most Loved?
Understanding what you do to make your significant other feel most loved is key to creating a deep bond. Not everyone feels loved the same way, and you want to provide the gestures and words that make your partner feel loved, and vice versa.
2. What Do You Think About When You Can't Sleep At Night?
Health insurance premiums? The chance of the roof actually caving in? Favorite ice cream flavor? The sheer enormity of space and time? Whatever it is, you want to know, as it can create deeper conversations in the future.
3. What Scares You?
One of the most primal questions, this can reveal a lot about a person if you are paying attention.
4. Is There Anyone You Miss?
A grandmother who died, a cat, a best friend who moved away– hopefully not an ex-girlfriend. If so, you have a lot to talk about.
5. Who Do You Look Up To, And Why?
Who a person respects, who their role-models are, reveals much about their morals, ethics, and dreams.
6. How Can I Help You Accomplish Your Dreams?
What a beautiful question. Who wouldn't want to be asked this?
7. If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself, What Would It Be?
The answer to this question can reveal a person's most private insecurities, if they are willing to let you in. And if they are willing, tread lightly, kindly, and with as few words as possible, all supportive.
8. What Are You Most Proud Of?
Honing in on what your significant other finds most boast worthy about themselves tell you a lot about their priorities: is it how they graduated college despite being chronically ill, or is it that they increased their chest span by an inch? Hm.
9. What Is The Most Important Choice You Ever Made?
Another psyche revealing question that can greatly increase your understanding and possibly compassion toward your SO, the answer to this could surprise (and delight) you.
10. Is There Anything We Need To Talk About Within Our Sex Life?
A tender subject that can be effectively talked about with gentleness and some care in word choice. If there are issues with your sex life, or perhaps just small, teensy problems, then a calm discussion where you are both open can do a lot to improve things.
11. What Do I Do That Irritates You?
Ask and be ready for the answer.
12. Are You Confident In How I Feel About You?
If they say yes, you know how solid your relationship feels to them. If they say no, you can ask why, and move forward to a stronger relationship.
13. What Scares You About Our Relationship?
Being abandoned? Not having enough sex? Your parents as future in-laws? Whatever it is, it's a way toward deeper intimacy and understanding. No one said the road to intimacy was always easy.
14. What Do You Love About Us Together?
So simple, so sweet, and words you'll never forget.