When I first started having sex, I knew zilch about how to do it and even less about getting off. Unfortunately for me, I didn't climax from sex until I was in my 20s, even though those adolescent memories remain hot as ever. And it probably took so long because I knew nothing about orgasms. The things you didn't know about the female orgasm are nothing to be ashamed of, because a lot of people, myself included, had to study up on sex in order to learn them.
Only 57 percent of women climax from sex with a partner, according to data from Cosmopolitan's Female Orgasm Survey. Although that means plenty of women are getting themselves off (way to go, by the way), sex is a lot more fun when you experience a chemically induced contraction south of your waistline. I mean, sure sex is about connecting with another, being intimate without words, and being carnal to the max. But it's always nice to have that cherry on top of your sundae, because, well, it's feels so freaking delicious.
The more you know, the less likely you are to believe the patriarchal hype that the female orgasm is mysterious. Having said that, women are complex beings, so it's only natural that your orgasms are as well. The following will help educate you on all the things you didn't know about the female orgasm.
1. The Female Orgasm Is Teachable
If you're having trouble climaxing, you should consider a workout for your vagina. Emily Morse, founder of the new app Kegel Camp, told Women's Health that doing kegels can intensify orgasms. Just like any other muscle, your vagina can benefit from exercise. Clench the muscles deep inside your vagina (these are the muscles that stop you from urinating uncontrollably). Keep them tense and engaged for five to 10 seconds, then relax for five to 10 seconds.
Clenching is integral to the female orgasm for a couple of reasons. Kegels are exercises that empower you, leading you to shed your sexual inhibitions. If you practice them before sex, you're likely to be more aroused during the act, noted Morse in the same article. Plus, the harder you clench, the firmer the grip around your partner's penis, which will increase the friction you feel leading up to your orgasm.
2. The Female Orgasm Can Happen From C-Spot Stimulation
Your C-spot, also known as your clitoris, is responsible for bringing you many, many orgasms. So treat it with respect. Why is the C-spot known as your pleasure button? The magical lady part known as the clit has over 8,000 nerve endings, noted The Huffington Post. If you're having trouble climaxing from sex, try a position that activates the clit, or introduce a vibrator into your sex routine.
3. The Female Orgasm Can Happen From G-Spot Stimulation
The part of your anatomy named for named for Ernst Gräfenberg, noted Alternet, is the very real G-spot. You can find your G-spot by seeking out the spongy area above the front vaginal wall, noted Refinery29. So, it's worth getting to know yourself so you can orgasm from vaginal penetration. According to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, you should aim for an active 15 minutes of intercourse, with plenty of thrusting to hit the spot.
4. The Female Orgasm Can Happen From Breast Stimulation
Nipple stimulation activates the same region of the brain as clitoral, vaginal and cervical stimulation, according to The Science of Relationships. So yes, breast orgasms are very real. Play around with your engorged nipples the next time you're aroused, and you'll see what I mean. And, as noted in The Huffington Post, breast sensitivity changes with your menstrual cycle. So the more sensitive your breasts are, the more pleasure they may bring you.
5. The Female Orgasm Can Happen From Anal Stimulation
Oh, yes. Women can orgasm in their anuses as well. Why do you think so many women are down for anal sex? But, you don't have to go all the way to climax in your butt hole; a finger will suffice. Although Refinery29 noted there's no prostate needed for an anal orgasm, women should be sure to apply lots of lube to the anus, where skin is tight and taut.
6. The Female Orgasm Can Result In Squirting
The Independent UK reported that squirting is real, and that female ejaculate is different from urine. The United States Library of Medicine published a study out of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine indicating that Skene's glands produce female ejaculate, which has it very own biological constitution. Your Skene's glands are located below the bladder and surrounding the urethra. For the umpteenth time — female ejaculate is not pee.
7. The Female Orgasm Lasts Less Time Than You Think
According to Cosmopolitan UK, the average female orgasm lasts about seven seconds. However, for some lucky women, an orgasm can last up to 20 seconds. And according to Shape, you're more likely to have multiple orgasms after you've had at least one. So, keep breathing and expecting pleasure. It can happen.
8. The Female Orgasm Starts In The Brain
You probably know that the brain is the most important sex organ in your body, for many reasons, your naughty imagination being only one. Women's Health reported that when you're aroused, your hippocampus gets activated like crazy. Additionally, "the cerebellum triggers tension in your thighs, butt, and abs, while the frontal cortex," the article reported. As you approach orgasm, your hippocampus releases oxytocin that causes uterine contractions, which feel oh so good.
9. The Female Orgasm Can Be More Intense When You're In Your Fertile Window
During your fertile window, or when you're ovulating, your physiology changes, making your horny. According to the American Pregnancy Association, when you ovulate, your cervical fluid increases and gets really wet and slippery. The wetter you are, the more intense your orgasm. You don't have to rely on Mother Nature for this one; that's what lube is for.
10. The Female Orgasm Can Help You Conceive
Getting off during sex might help you get pregnant. The uterine contractions of your orgasm can help propel the sperm to the egg. But, orgasm is clearly not a must for baby making.
11. The Female Orgasm Can Occur During Childbirth
According to Live Science, a very small percentage of women can orgasm during childbirth. But sexual arousal is probably not first and foremost in your mind when you're in the delivery room.
12. The Female Orgasm Can Occur When You're Working Out
The Huffington Post noted that 10 percent of women climax during exercise, which is all the motivation I need to use my class pass. There's even a scientifically designed workout called The Coregasm Workout, designed by Dr. Debby Herbenick that teaches you how to have an exercise-induced orgasm.
13. The Female Orgasm Can Be Made More Intense If You Moan
Just like cats meow when being petted, some women moan during sex, noted Go Ask Alice. Not only does this indicate you're enjoying yourself, but high-pitched moans bring sexual energy to your chest, throat, and head, while lower-pitched sounds bring the heat to your genitals, according to Coed.com, a sex education website for women in college.
14. The Female Orgasm Is Hampered By Anxiety
Tons of women have anxiety about orgasming, noted Psychology Today. Unfortunately, the more you stress it, the more unlikely you are to achieve it. In fact, so-called "orgasm anxiety" can take you out of your body and trap you in your head. To nip orgasm anxiety in the butt, practice like your life depended on it (sex life, anyway).
15. The Female Orgasm Can Increase Your Pain Threshold
Bringing new meaning to the phrase, "it hurts so good," is the science that says the female orgasm can increase your pain threshold, or so reported The Atlantic. Scientists continue to study how the female orgasm can dull pain, and that's some research I can get behind.