When I found out I was pregnant, the first thing I did was research and read and ask questions about childbirth. I wanted to be as prepared as possible so I could at least walk into the labor and delivery room feeling confident, no matter what. And while mom friends and pregnancy books were helpful, it turns out that social media proved to be the most insightful when it came to childbirth. Every time Twitter got too real about childbirth, I learned something a book or a friend wasn't necessarily willing (or able) to divulge. Was it (sometimes) a little more information than I was prepared to handle? Um, yes. But, in the end, was it helpful? You bet. If anyone is going to give it to you straight when it comes to pushing (or cutting) a human being out of your body, it's Twitter users.
Relative strangers were sharing what they wish they'd known before having a baby, what it was like as they were delivering their baby, and what they would do differently next time around (if there would, in fact, be a next time). It was so informative and wonderfully hilarious and sometimes a little too real but hey, I'm a parent now; ain't nobody got time for candy-coated fiction or heavy-handed words.
So, if you're preparing to meet your bundle of joy and are looking to be as prepared as humanly possible, here are 15 times Twitter got too real about childbirth. Because, well, the devil you know beats the devil you don't.
When You're No Longer Allowed To Eat...
If you choose the epidural route, chances are you won't be allowed to eat during your labor and delivery process. I can tell you that, when your stomach growls from eventual starvation, you won't notice between contractions so, I mean, at least you have that going for you?
...And When You're Finally Able To Eat, You Do Work
When you're finally able to have some food, you eat like you've never eaten before. I mean, that first postpartum meal makes your pregnancy cravings looks like a five-day cleanse.
You're On The Baby's Schedule
I can't say riding in a helicopter at three in the morning was on my to do list today, but apparently it was on this baby's list. #inlabor— Marquette LaRee (@MarquetteLaRee) February 16, 2016
It's always worth mentioning that when you're in labor and delivery, you're on the baby's schedule. There isn't a doctor or a doula or a midwife or a nurse or a future mother and father, that can tell that baby to hurry up or move it along. Your baby will come when they're ready, and your body will facilitate the process as necessary (if there are no medical complications, of course). So, yeah, it can take forever or happen way too quickly and it's so annoying.
When You Realize Birthing A Baby Isn't Your Only Priority
I mean, priorities.
You Feel Uncomfortable For A Number Of Reasons
Whether you're pooping in front of relative strangers or you haven't shaved in months or you're screaming obscenities at kind medical professionals, labor and delivery can be uncomfortable.
It Can Be Scary
There's nothing wrong with openly admitting that labor and delivery can be terrifying. Your body is doing something extraordinary but painful, there's always the possibility of a complication and you're acutely aware that your life is about to change forever. It's intense.
It Freakin' Hurts
Pain. So. Much. Pain.
And You Might Not Want To Do It Again
Yo I am one and done! I CANNOT live through this shit twice! #inlabor— jas. (@LadyJayy_) January 31, 2016
I don't know about you, but after I had my son I swore I would never put my mind or body through labor and delivery again. Of course, time has this funny way of smoothing over the painful parts so the idea of another kid isn't as terrifying as it once was, but that doesn't always happen for everyone and it most definitely doesn't happen right away. Your body just did an amazing thing and, well, that amazing thing isn't always totally and completely fun.