15 TV and Movie Parents Who Prove You’re #Winning, Because You Cook Brownies Not Meth
Parenting is no easy task, am I right? You’re constantly wondering if you’re doing it right, if you’re hitting all the marks, and then you watch something like The Brady Bunch and feel like all of your hard work is for naught. All of these perfect sitcom and movie parents can really drag you down. In times like these, taking a look at the worst TV and movie parents to make you feel better about feeding your kids cupcakes for breakfast. (What? They’re practically muffins.)
Being a parent means joining a community of people who are dealing with the same daily struggles. But it’s tough when some members of the community seem like the flawess and fabulous Stepford mother you dreamed of being (and still try to be at time). But you know what? That perfect Stepford mom turned out to be a robot, so appearances can be deceiving. These 15 TV and movie parents, however, can be taken at face value for what they are — awful. So sit back and relish in the fact that you’re not murdering people in the name of family or locking your child in the closet for getting a period. These parents prove you’re totes #winning.
1. Walter White of 'Breaking Bad'
Regardless of his reasonings behind his actions, a meth-cooking, murdering thief of a father is no childhood dream. Walter became totally obsessed with his alter-ego, Heisenberg, and ruined everyone’s lives around him with his selfish actions, including his kids’.
2. Bree Van de Kamp of 'Desperate Housewives'
An overbearing perfectionist with an anal-retentive personality? Everyone’s idea of a perfect mother. Bree will do anything to keep the perfect facade up, even if it means hurting her own children and family to do so. She may bake a Pinterest-worthy pie, but her unconditional love is hard to find.
3. Darth Vader of 'Star Wars'
Sure, eventually he redeems himself in Return of the Jedi, but on the whole, Darth Vader is a pretty terrible father. He allows his own children to be kidnapped and tortured, and even cuts off his own son’s hand all to fulfill this proposed destiny of his children coming to the dark side. I wouldn’t give him a Father’s Day card is all I’m saying.
4. Lucious Lyon of 'Empire'
The music mogul isn’t exactly a symbol of morality and integrity, but he’s an even worse father. Not only does he cause tension between his three sons by pitting them all against each other, but he also has a terrible time coming to grips with one of his son’s sexuality. Lucious actually tossed his then 4-year-old son in the trash can after finding him wearing women’s clothes. Nope, no finger paintings for you, Lucious.
5. Betty Draper Francis of 'Mad Men'
She called her daughter a lesbian when she was trying to be handy, threatened to cut her fingers off when when she was masturbating, and had an inappropriate relationship with her daughter’s friend. You know, basic mom of the year stuff. It’s obvious Betty wasn’t ready to have children and only seems happy when they aren’t around her, but let’s not make too many excuses for her.
6. Joan Crawford of 'Mommie Dearest'
A famous, glamorous movie star adopting children should be the stuff dreams are made of, right? Not so much according to the movie, Mommie Dearest, based on Joan Crawford’s relationship with her two adopted children. She’s a control freak with a quick temper and pulls stunts like cutting all of her daughter’s hair off in chunks as a way to humiliate her. But one of the most disturbing scenes includes Joan finding a wire hanger in her daughter’s closet and entering a rage. She rips all of the dresses out of the young girl’s closet and then beats her daughter with the hanger. Abusive, explosive, and terrifying, Joan is a nightmare.
7. Kate McCallister of 'Home Alone'
I know, I know. It’s one of my favorite movies, too, but let’s be real here. Anyone who forgets her child not once, but twice, during family vacations needs a spot on this list. Plus, she totally let Kevin take the heat for big brother Buzz’s crappy attitude and as a middle child, I can not stand by that. I can not.
8. Mother Gothel of 'Tangled'
Not only is she conceited, selfish, and controlling, but she became a mother by kidnapping baby Rapunzel so she could stay young and beautiful through the powers of her hair. I’m willing to vote that that is the worst way to become a mom.
9. Peter Griffin of 'Family Guy'
Abusive to his children for his own enjoyment, Peter Griffin is the worst. He routinely hits his children in the head, farts in their face, and values his own feelings over their own. His actions have damaged his children with poor Meg feeling totally unlovable and Chris having zero confidence. No wonder Stewie is so evil.
10. Jack and Judy Geller of 'Friends'
Here’s a doubly terrible parenting team. It’s obvious that Ross is their favorite child and they don’t even try to hide this from poor Monica. Remember the episode where the garage was flooding and Jack Geller used Monica’s childhood belongings to block the water from reaching his Porsche? Or when Judy used to always say someone was “pulling a Monica” when they screwed up? Ugh. Terrible.
11. Margaret White of 'Carrie'
Margaret White may be one of the scariest horror movie characters ever, and her mothering skills reflect it. When Carrie has her first period, Margaret tells her it’s punishment for her sins and locks her in the closet to confess and pray, but that’s not even the worst thing she does. At the end of the movie, she actually stabs her daughter in the back and tries to kill her before Carrie’s telekinetic powers kick in. No mani and pedi dates for these two.
12. Lucius Malfoy of 'Harry Potter'
A coward in every sense of the word, Lucius Malfoy has no regard for those around him if it means saving his own butt. In fact, his actions infuriate Lord Voldemort so much that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named Turns on Malfoy’s son, Draco, and insists that he be the one to carry out the plan of killing Dumbledore. What kind of father lets his son take the heat for that?
13. Pamela Voorhees of 'Friday the 13th'
Oh you know, just your average murdering mother intent on avenging her son’s death by turning a summer camp into a bloodbath. Pamela Voorhees is unstable, psychotic, and is convinced she’s hearing the voice of her son telling her to kill those she claims are responsible for his drowning. Totally normal mommy behavior, obviously.
14. Dr. Evil of 'Austin Powers'
What kind of father is cryogenically frozen, missing out on his son’s life, and then replaces his own flesh and blood with a miniature evil clone? The Dr. Evil kind. He is so obsessed with being the perfect villain that he forgets to be a good dad to his son Scott, instead treating Mini-Me as his child.
15. Stannis Baratheon of 'Game of Thrones'
Once a loving and devoted father, Stannis performs the ultimate betrayal by not only sacrificing his daughter, but by burning her at the stake to do so. What else is there to say about the most hated character in the epic series? You will never be forgiven, Stannis.
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