Jeff Franklin Productions

15 Ways Your Parents Ruined Your Life In The '90s

You know how your kids act like you've just sentenced them to death when you tell them they can't watch Frozen or Inside Out for the millionth time? Believe it or not, you probably felt the same way towards your own parents when they denied you whatever it was that you swore you needed. In short, there were plenty of ways your parents ruined your life in the '90s. Even though you're a bona fide grown-up now, there's still a teeny tiny part of you (about the size of a Tamagotchi, to be exact) that is bitter over the torture your parents put you through in the '90s.

Try as you might to laugh about it now, you can still remember just how devastated you felt when you were the only kid in your group of friends without a pager, cellie, or personal phone in your bedroom. I mean, how did your parents expect you to survive life when they were actively trying to turn you into a social pariah?

Clearly they held no regard for your feelings because only cruel parents would relegate their child to having to borrow a friend's phone to make calls while you were out. Check out some of the other ways your monster-like parents cramped your style in the best decade ever.


They Always Knocked You Offline

Back in the day before Wi-Fi, you had to rely on the one phone line in your household to get on the Internet. If your parents picked up the phone and tried to make a call, you were immediately booted offline. Did they not understand that you were in the middle of a super intense convo with your crush on AIM?


You Had To Use The Pay Phone

If you weren't fortunate enough to have a cell phone, you had to find and call your parents using a pay phone so they could come pick you up from the mall. It was so embarrassing when your friends had to wait on you while you made the awkward call.


They Wouldn't Let You Rock Midriff-Baring Tops

Every girl you knew had at least half a dozen spaghetti strap tanks and midriff-baring tops in their wardrobe, but your parents preferred you be an outcast.


They Hogged The VCR

It's bad enough your parents forced you to do school work, but how were you supposed to find out what happened between Buffy and Angel if your parents wouldn't let you use the VCR to record the episode? You'd surely be the laughing stock at school the following day if you were the only one who wasn't in the know.


They Insisted On Flintstones Vitamins

God, it's like they thought you were a baby or something. OK, maybe they were a little bit yummy, but you'd sooner die than let your friends see that your mom still set out your cartoon character vitamins for you in the morning.


You Couldn't Buy Moon Shoes

Your parents claimed that they were too "unsafe." What's so dangerous about Moon Shoes or platform sneakers? It's not like you could easily fall and twist your ankle or anything. They were soooo over-protective.


They Didn't Understand Your Rivalries

How dare they invite Ashley to your birthday party without asking you? Didn't they know she was a firm member of team Backstreet Boys and you were a hardcore fan of *NSYNC? It's like they didn't know you at all and could care less about ruining your birthday party.


You Weren't Allowed To Shop At Hot Topic

Your parents said being goth was just a phase and that Hot Topic was too problematic. But it wasn't a passing fad; this was who you really were! Where else were you supposed to buy belts with safety pins in them or studded dog collars?


They Said No To "Alternative" Piercings

Speaking of your parents being super preppy conformists, they wouldn't let you get anything besides your ears pierced. That meant no belly button bling, gauges, or nose rings.


They Wouldn't Buy The Good Cereal

Cookie Crisp, Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs, and Fruity Pebbles were all out of the question when it came to breakfast foods your parents found suitable. If this wasn't proof they were trying to ruin your life every step of the way, then what else was?


They Banned Controversial Cartoons

Beavis and Butthead, Ren and Stimpy, and South Park were all considered to be too vulgar for you to watch. Your parents would never truly understand the far-reaching consequences this would have on your social life. You'd have to sneakily watch these shows at your friend's house in order to try and keep some semblance of a cool reputation.


They Wouldn't Let You Have Glitter Products

Anyone who was anyone had glitter, in some form or another, as part of their beauty routine. Everyone except you. You pleaded with them to let you get glitter lotion or sparkly lip gloss, but they were set on making you live an Amish lifestyle.


They Didn't Replace Imperative Items

Did your slap bracelet, Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper, or Tamagotchi break? Too bad, because your parents weren't about to drop another dime on your "trendy" belongings. Only you knew how important it was to your very existence to have the latest and best Trapper Keeper in your school.


They Didn't Let You Practice Dance Moves

Had they never seen She's All That? Didn't they know that part of being a cool kid was having some awesome dance routines at your disposal? And how were you supposed to learn your part for "Wannabe" when you and your girl friends were going to be the Spice Girls at the talent show?


They Wouldn't Let You Watch R-Rated Movies

There was something so alluring and downright urgent about getting to watch an R-rated film. Scream, Cruel Intentions, and I Know What You Did Last Summer were movies you would just have to sneak into and pray your parents never found out about. Clearly your parents were the worst because they wouldn't let you just live your life.