Most moms I know groan and slap a hand to their forehead when the conversation turns to baby brain. So many funny pregnancy brain memes exist because rhe condition evokes a pretty common feeling: embarrassment. Here we are, about to be someone's mama, and we'd forget our heads if they weren't attached to our necks. The hard work of growing a baby does weird things to your memory, but we all seem to remember with crystal clarity "that one time I was pregnant and I forgot... "
My worst #pregnancybrain moment happened the day I went into the gas station to pre-pay $35 on a pump. I paid the cashier, walked back out to my car and drove off — without pumping one drop of gas. Two minutes further down the road, I realized what I'd done and hightailed it back to the gas station. But it was too late. Someone had already pumped the gas I'd paid for and my car was still on E. So I did what any mom-to-be would do: I burst into tears. These memes might make you cry laughing because they hit so close to home. (They might also make you pee laughing, so... just a heads-up.)
1. When You're Just Driving For No Reason
I have forgotten so many things at home during and after pregnancy that I have a mantra I chant before I lock the front door: "Phone, wallet, keys." If I don't make sure I touch each item, I am liable to leave it. Pregnancy brain is so unfair.
2. Running On Autopilot
Having pregnancy brain while taking care of your existing children is the worst. We can't be held responsible if the toddler's clothes are mismatched or if we forgot their field trip money. Blame it on the baby.
3. Two Brains, One Dizzy Mama
"Hey, it's so cool that growing a whole human inside you takes up all your energy," said no one ever. It's not enough that pregnancy makes you sleepy. No, you have to be absent-minded when you're awake, too.
4. About Those Weird Dreams
I'm convinced part of the reason my #pregnancybrain was so forgetful is that all the strange dreams I had stole some of my brain cells. My mind put all that energy toward pigs flying on Saturn in my sleep. That's probably why I couldn't concentrate on anything while I was awake.
5. I Promise I'm Not Ditzy. Just Pregnant.
You ever have that moment during pregnancy where you say something odd and don't realize it until you see your friend looking at you strangely? Luckily, my friends knew me well enough so I didn't have to keep telling them the baby was making me ditzy. They already knew.
6. Why Isn't This Straw Working?
I can picture exactly how this went. The poor mom-to-be was likely getting frustrated the silly straw wasn't going through the lid, when all she wanted was to sip her water. All you can do once you figure out your mistake is laugh — lightly, though, so you don't pee on yourself.
7. The Classic "Mismatched Shoe" Moment
It's bad enough pregnancy make your feet swell and change size. That alone should give pregnant people a free pass to wear whatever shoes happen to fit that day, even if they don't match. Matching is overrated, anyway.
8. "Mommy, Why Are We Turning Around Again?"
When I forget things at the house and have to hit a U-turn, my older kids will troll me even though they know what's going on. Mommy is ignoring your questions about why we're driving back home for the second time in 5 minutes, sweetie. Hush, so I can remember what I made this U-turn for.
9. This Is Exactly How The Pregnant Brain Works
I can remember the order of the track listing to NSYNC's first album. My memory of 90s movie release year trivia is undefeated. But don't ask me what I was going to grab from the kitchen five seconds ago. I have no clue.
10. Honey, I Forgot The Bread
The thing is, you can walk right past the bread or milk at the store, and your pregnant brain won't even throw a flag. Like, "Hey, mama, aren't you forgetting something?" Nope. You'll only remember three hours later when all you crave is a PBJ and there's not a slice of bread anywhere in the house.
11. Because Pregnancy Is Also A Time Warp
So many times I tried to outsmart my pregnancy brain by putting events in my iCal. I had forgetfulness so bad that even the days or times I'd remember to set would be wrong. So, yes, I did drive 45 minutes to my kid's dentist, call to say I was running late, only to learn the appointment was actually the next day. (Facepalm).
12. Pssst, Check Your Back Pocket
Pregnancy amazed me because I was literally making a person while going about my daily life, but also because it caused so many new changes to my body. Changes that caused me to tear up the house searching for my phone while it was in my back pocket.
13. Pro-Tip: Lists Are Your Best Friends
Use one of those bathtub crayons to write it on the shower wall. Put it on a Post-It Note and stick it to your forehead if you absolutely need to remember. Whatever you do, don't leave the list at home.
14. Because Pregnancy Turns Your Brain To Word Salad
Sometimes you can't recall the names of simple objects, words that are right. on. the. tip. of your tongue. Other days, you accidentally remix words so no one understands WTF you're talking about. This whole pregnancy brain thing makes communication so comically difficult.
15. Seriously, Why Did I Walk In Here?
That blank stare drops down onto your face right after you cross the threshold of the door. What am I doing here? And the strangest thing is, you won't figure out what you came for until you retrace your steps. It never fails.
16. The Case Of The Missing Mommy Brain
Here's my theory: the baby "borrows" all the brain power moms previously used for unimportant things like remembering how to match shoes. Instead, we trade the ability to recall our birthdays for the obsessive mental reminder to finish the baby's nursery at 3 AM on a Tuesday. It's totally a sign of things to come.
17. Where The BLEEP Did I Put It?
I'm almost ashamed to admit how many phone conversations I've ended because I had to start frantically looking for a lost object. I have yet to look for my phone while talking on it. Consider me perfectly happy to leave that pregnancy brain achievement locked.