18 Fantasy Football Husband Tweets For The Suffering Partners

Share

Each year from September to February, thousands of people drop everything for weeks on end to participate in fantasy football. Because American football is a sport that is notoriously watched by men, it makes sense that many husbands around the country play along. Throughout the season, wives watch as their husbands are sucked into a black hole of the competitive online drama that is fantasy football. It makes sense that hilarious fantasy football husband tweets would be a thing on Twitter where spousal rants typically abound.

I've personally never really understood the appeal of playing fantasy football. Why is picking a team to cheer for and watching them play each week not enough? So much time and energy goes into drafting players, making trades, waivers, and keeping track of stats that it makes my head spin. I'm thankful to be married to a man who is not all that into watching sports, save the occasional baseball game he will watch with me and possibly the Super Bowl, even if it's only for the commercials and halftime show.

I feel like we're actually a rarity among American couples, though. Many wives are forced to handle the whole fantasy football situation in the best way they know how — by posting about it on Twitter. Some couples even play fantasy football together, which creates some fantastically funny tweets as well. Read on to see what all the fantasy football fuss is about where husbands and wives are concerned over on Twitter.

1. Fantasy Football Season = Amazon Prime Time

Preach. When your husband is distracted by which of his players are doing what, you can quietly slip away to go shopping, or take advantage of his preoccupation and order just about anything your heart desires without him noticing.

2. That's Not How It Works?

This exact situation is probably the source of plenty of marital disputes nationwide during football season, but I honestly can't say I wouldn't do the same.

3. Twitter Queen Chrissy Teigen Gets It

Some wives, like Chrissy Teigen — mom and wife extraordinaire — support their husbands by buying giant white boards for their draft parties. Even though said white board may not be necessary, it's the thought that counts.

4. Relationship Status

When your wife is rooting against your fantasy football team, there may be trouble brewing. She also might just be a bada** fantasy football player though — you never can tell.

5. Destruction Mode: Activated

This is the dream, y'all. Marriages thrive on some healthy competition, right?

6. When You Just *Can't* With All The Stats

Honestly, just letting your husband's fantasy football updates go in one ear and out the other is the best way to deal sometimes.

7. Fancy Football

Kids may say the darndest things, but they're usually hilariously accurate. Fantasy football is fancy, and I'm sure husbands everywhere can agree.

8. Confusion Level 1000

Fantasy football is notoriously confusing, especially if you're trying to play with someone (aka your husband) who is a pro at it and you're decidedly amateur. Major props for trying, though!

9. Logical Point Made

Husbands tend to get a little loony when draft time rolls around. Hopefully their sanity returns sometime after the Super Bowl.

10. It's Basically A Full Time Job

I'm curious as to why husbands can't multitask as well as they do during Fantasy Football drafts when it comes to helping out around the house? The world may never know.

11. Mission Critical

This is serious business, folks. If your husband doesn't have at least this many items on hand during his draft, he's probably doing it wrong.

12. Learning The Language

I mean, what husband has time to eat during the draft anyway?

13. Sounds Of The Season

When your husband is humming anything, it can be obnoxious. The NFL jingle just takes things to the next level.

14. Time Warp

It's not truly fantasy football season if you see your husband at all from September to February.

15. Fake It 'Til You Make It

It becomes wearing after a while to pretend to be excited about something you're just not that into — fantasy football is no exception.

16. Time Marches On

Being married for 18 years is a true feat in and of itself. Being married for 18 years and having the ability to not care about your husband's fantasy football stats is next level awesome.

17. Always Listen To Your Wife

Happy wife, happy life, right? It looks like if this husband had listened to his wife, he'd be winning right about now.

18. Solid Burn

Sometimes the husbands get to clap back when their wife puts down their fantasy football playing. Honestly though, how else would we know how to properly contour if not for watching makeup tutorials?