18 Small Gestures That Make Men Want To Be Closer To You, According To Real Men

I don't know one person who doesn't love feeling appreciated. It's just beautiful knowing that out there in this crazy world someone cares about you. Doing something sweet for someone can turn their whole day around, and sometimes you may not even be doing it on purpose. There are so many small gestures that men notice and appreciate, that you probably don't realize you are doing.

Many men said that a simple touch, remembering their favorite drink, or even just a "miss you" text are some small things that made them feel special. Surprisingly it doesn't take a lot to make someone feel worthy. Sometimes just having a pleasant demeanor can go a long way and draw your man closer to you, and that's all anyone wants: to feel unconditional closeness and intimacy.

A healthy relationship is about giving and receiving, but one doesn't have to move mountains to make an impression. Sometimes the simplest act can remind someone that you love and care about them — you don't have to hit them over the head with a movie-worthy move to make an impression that counts.

Here are some subtle gestures that real men say will make them want to get closer to you. Who knew?



"They listen." — Courtney, 34

Listening is one of the most important ways we communicate with one another, according to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. "To become an effective communicator, you need to learn to listen just as much as you need to learn to speak," she told Psychology Today. "Unfortunately, most people focus more on the speaking than they do on the listening." Listening to your partner leads to positive communication, which is good for any relationship.


Shows Physical Affection

"Any physical touch, like touching an arm or leg for a brief moment — basic body language stuff." — Justin, 32

Touching is one of the five love languages. For some, touching is one way to express and receive love. If you're with someone you love, wouldn't you appreciate a little bit of physical affection?


Lets Boys Be Boys

"I think the smallest gesture that women can do to make their guy feel good is to show appreciation for who we are, and not who you would like us to evolve into. To their credit, women generally are trying to nudge our cro-magnon brains into the light and to be better versions of ourselves. But sometimes it's nice just to be appreciated for the simple idiot that you are, too." — Craig, 41

Well put, Craig.



"Being the big spoon makes me want to get married." — Anonymous

Spooning is a great way to feel safe with your S.O. and experience human closeness. It also releases oxytocin, the "happy chemical," oxytocin expert Paul Zak said, as reported by Mic.


Plays With Their Hair

"When girls scratch your head, like play with your hair. You know what I mean?" — Marco, 29

Unless you despise the person doing it, you probably appreciate it when someone affectionately plays with your hair, too.


Takes Care Of Them

"I like when a girl takes care of me, without me asking. And when she remembers small details about me." — Nikhil, 28

No surprise here. Who doesn't like feeling a little pampered, and that their S.O. is paying attention to the non-obvious details and quirks that make up their personality.


Doesn't Make Them Feel Shitty

"Don’t make me feel shitty when telling me how shitty I am being." — Graham, 31

The way you phrase something can have a significant impact on how we communicate with each other. Some may not think name-calling isn't a big deal, but verbal abuse is a real thing. According to marriage and family therapist Dr. Deb, when we are in relationships we are supposed to be equals. "As soon as I call you something, I have given myself power and taken it away from you." Name calling not only makes someone feel bad, but it also destroys the trust the relationship once had.


Is Thoughtful

"That thing where you're smarter and more thoughtful than us and think to get or do things we like." — Tom, 27

Yes, Tom. We are smarter and more thoughtful than you, and we do remember everything you don't. You're welcome.


Acts Cold

"I like when they do the classic, 'I'm cold.'" — Keele, 29

Keele must really love winter time.


Has Their Back

"Having my back even if we probably both know I'm wrong." — Jared, 36

It's important to support your loved ones. Hopefully if you are wrong, Jared, she'll also be the one to let you know.


Packs Snacks

"Packs snacks on a road trip." — Lance, 34

When you're taking on a long car ride, snacks are crucial, and whoever is responsible enough to remember to bring the snacks is beloved by everyone in the car. Trust.


Shows Interest In Their Interests

"A girl got a comic book shirt once because she knew I liked comic books. It was nice she was showing interest in things I like." — Anonymous

It's nice to know that someone is at least open minded to the unique interests you have.



"Whispering in my ear." — Tim, 28

According to Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, ear-whispering is just an excuse for someone to get closer to you.


Gives Back Scratches

"Back scratches and doesn't complain." — George, 43

Is it surprising that we can totally relate?


Remembers Things They Like

"Honestly just really simple things like if we’re at a bar, she’ll remember my favorite drink and order it for me. Little stuff like that makes you feel good." — Bryan, 28

It's nice to feel like someone is so comfortable and confident that they know you that they are quick to order your favorite drink.


Sticks Up For Them

"A girl told me I smelled like a man/good because some dude made fun of me for wearing cologne. I thought that was nice." — Fredy, 30

When someone is being a jerk, the thing they need most is for someone to diminish the negative energy that was just thrown their way. A simple compliment can really make anyone's day.



"There is something about a wink..." — Ryan, 31

A wink is a sexy, confident way to flirt without using any verbal communication. Winking can actually raises your level of psychological arousal, says Dr. David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies, as reported by Broadly. It's a nonaggressive way to let someone know you are interested.


Lets Them Know You Think About Them

"So when my now-wife and I first started dating, she had to go away to work for a week in Baltimore. It was weird to miss someone as much as I missed her, but one night she sent me a snapshot of a doodle of a stick figure (pictured below) with tattoos (me) and a message saying how much she wished I was there with her. It was cheesy and stupid, but it was one of those gestures where you realize she is thinking about you as much as you are about her — simple, but made me realize how on the same page we were. I think most relationships start with that fear of 'am I way too into this? And am I the only one feeling this way?' It was nice knowing I wasn’t alone in that feeling." — Andrew, 31

There's nothing worse than feeling like you're more invested in the relationship than the other. Don't play hardball and make sure you'e reciprocating the affection you're receiving.


Andrew McCoy

Watch Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Check out the entire Romper's Doula Diaries series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.