They say there's no such thing as bad sex, but the proverbial "they" os wrong. Sex doesn't necessarily require an array of moves from the Kama Sutra to be enjoyable, but it doesn't take much to ruin it. In fact, there are some common things women do in bed that men don't like, and it can seriously hurt everyone's good time.
I know what you're thinking and here's the truth — you can be sex positive and still want to please your partner and make him happy. It doesn't mean you have to give up everything you love or need out of sex, but it means compromising and creating a healthy, safe, and consensual sexual relationship that both of you are invested in.
I reached out to a few friends to get their take on things women do in bed that they hate, and I was overwhelmingly surprised by their answers. When I asked things like, "Do you hate when she doesn't shave?", they all shrugged their shoulders. Turns out that the things you think are a big deal — like matching lingerie, unshaven legs, or spitting instead of swallowing — don't matter in the grand scheme of things. But there does seem to be an underlying theme to these 19 common things women do in bed that men don't like — consent. Yep, women need to ask for it, too, so if you think you're following some of these things on the list, it might be time to have a conversation with your guy. He has boundaries, desires, dislikes, and needs, too.
1. Using Teeth During A BJ
Just no. Any type of biting or teeth should be addressed before sex, but men don't appreciate feeling your pearly whites against their penis.
2. Acting Self Conscious
Don't act self conscious during sex. He wants to see you feeling desired and hot and if you're covering yourself up or refusing to let him look at you, it can ruin the sex.
3. Keeping Silent
Hey, a little noise goes a long way. Being completely silent isn't fun for anyone. You don't have to scream the house down or yell dirty things at the top of your lungs, but moaning and whispering can turn both of you on.
4. Turning Off The Lights
If you just feel like sex in the dark, OK. But if you're turning off the lights to hide your smoking hot body, you're going to regret it. Your guy loves your body, so let him see it.
5. Laying Like A Starfish
So turns out that guys really hate when a woman lays completely still while he does all the work. I've heard it called a lot of things, but the "dead starfish" might be my favorite.
6. Making Noise Before Anything Has Happened
You're just kissing, don't make it sound like you're having an orgasm.
7. Surprising Him With Something New During Sex
Everything during sex needs consent. Don't try to introduce anal play, toys, or bondage without talking about it first. Men may be interested in sex, but that doesn't mean they're game for everything on a whim.
8. Ignoring His Testicles
Use your hands during a BJ or cradle them when you're on top, but don't ignore them completely.
9. Paying Way Too Much Attention To His Testicles
And on the flip side, you aren't his doctor. You don't have to tug and pull them like you're giving him an exam.
10. Gagging On His Penis
If you can't go down all the way during a BJ, then don't. He's happy to be receiving some oral sex, he doesn't care if you can go all the way down to his testicles or not. What he does care about is if you gag and puke all over his penis.
11. Falling Asleep
If you're too sleepy for sex, just give him a heads up. Falling asleep during foreplay or sex is a huge bummer.
12. Telling Him Not To Cum
I know, you don't want him to cum because you want to keep having sex, but telling him not to cum makes everything worse. Now he's focused on holding back something he can barely control and he's totally distracted from sex while trying to keep himself from cumming.
13. Only Liking One Position
Nobody's saying you have to be willing to hang upside down for sex, but a few new positions is always nice.
14. Making Him Finish Himself Off During A BJ
Apparently giving up during a BJ and making your guy give himself a hand job instead totally ruins the mood, the rhythm, and can actually make it take longer for him to orgasm than if you had just finished.
15. Spitting Cum Back Out On A Guy
Did you know this was a thing? Me neither. It's fine if you don't want to swallow, but just take it to the bathroom. Don't spit it back on him, OK? Gross.
16. Asking For Too Much Aggression Without Consent
Like aggressive sex? Awesome. Talk to your guy about it. When you're asking him to pull your hair, act rough with you, or push into rough sex, he may be nervous about what constitutes as OK and what is going too far. You need to have the conversation beforehand so you're both comfortable and getting what you want.
17. Acting Lackluster About Sex
Hey, if you don't want to have sex, don't. But going for it and then acting like it's a huge ordeal or obligation doesn't make anyone feel good about the time together.
18. Bouncing Too Hard When On Top
I've heard way too many sprained penis stories, OK? Bouncing way too hard not only risks injury, but it doesn't necessarily feel that great. Try grinding instead.
19. Faking An Orgasm
I mean, if he even realizes.