19 Sex Positive Lessons To Learn From Samantha On 'Sex and The City'

by Jill Di Donato

Oh, Ms. Jones. She may have started out a figment of Candace Bushnell's imagination, but now is a bonafide icon. The sex positive lessons to learn from Samantha on Sex and the City are plenty, and have influenced the kink of millions. Samantha is one bad b*tch, but she is also a loyal friend, a self-made Manhattan mogul, and unafraid to be who she is, which makes her a perfect spokeswoman for sex positivity. Hell, she eve admits her age in the final episode of the series. It's exactly this no-shame attitude about anything, which includes lots and lots of sex, which makes Samantha Jones a compelling character. Not only is she a stone cold fox, but Sam has quite a bit to teach young women about what it means to be hot and self-possessed. Of course she's an extreme character, but who of the show's famous foursome isn't?

You might think that the sex positive movement is for people who want to have lots of sex with whomever they want. But that's not what sex positivity is about. Being sex positive celebrates desire devoid of shame or judgment. It's about owning your sex life, whether that means hours of masturbation, getting off to a priest, or fellating a guy with "funky spunk." So channel your inner Samantha and take note of these sex positive lessons she taught during her time on TV.


You Come First

Self-love is the only love you need.


But You Know How To Make Him Cum Too

Your bedroom prowess is an art. That means your lingerie game is on point.


Keep Politics Out Of The Bedroom

Why complicate matters?


Shut Down Negative Thoughts STAT

Know how to talk back to negative thoughts, especially about your sex life.


Self-Pleasure Is A Must

Sometimes a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do. No shame in the selfie game.


Age Ain't Nothing But A Number



Dexterity Helps With Manual Stimulation

Remember when Samantha explored her Sapphic side? Although there's a lot to learn about touching a p*ssy in this story arc, it's also refreshing to see Samantha acknowledge her sexuality as fluid.


Don't Be Embarrassed About Wanting Your Ex To Suffer

Own it. Then get over it.


Always Be Honest With Your Girlfriends About Their Relationships

Friends don't let friends make bad decisions in bed.


Sex Keeps You From Being Uptight

Sexual counselor and sexual-medicine gynecologist Michael Krychman told Refinery29 that sex can decrease stress and anxiety, but Samantha was preaching that years ago.


Dismantle The Patriarchy

“Women, especially, are still under the watchful eyes of those with puritanical attitudes,” Krychman told Refinery29 in the same article. Well, duh. Samantha was always down to fight the power.


Don't Let Other Women Put You Down

Other women might judge your sexual habits, but your attitude is no f*cks given.


Don't Let Society Shame You

Sing it, sister!


Speak Your Truth

Like any sex positive women, Samantha is not bound by limits.


Be Open To New Experiences

Before Miley Cyrus made pan sexuality trendy again, Samantha was all about it.


Your Pubic Hair, Your Business

While the sex positive takeaway in this story arc is what you do to the hair down there is your choice, there is a secondary lesson: avoid at-home dye kits on your pubes.


It's OK If Not Everybody Likes You

You've got some brass ovaries. Not everyone is going to like your no holds barred attitude in life, or in bed. That might ruffle your feathers, but in the end, you don't really care.


Don't Lie Around Waiting For Mr. Right

Even if your boyfriend is The Absolut Hunk, don't let a man keep you waiting around. You're a busy lady!


You're Entitled To Your Needs

I hear that.