If you don't have pets or children, Nov. 4 will be a glorious day for you. It's daylight saving time (DST), and you'll get another hour of sleep (you jerk). Before I had kids, I always had pets, so I never really got to experience the extra hour of sleep (and the losing an hour of sleep was the absolute worst). Pets don't give a crap if it's 5 a.m. now instead of 6 a.m. They're hangry. That goes for kids, too. There are lots of unsavory things that go through moms' brains when they wake up on daylight saving day. Mine included.
Whether it's begging my dogs to go back to sleep so I don't have to walk them at 5 a.m., or telling my infant that it's actually 5 a.m. and not 6 a.m. and it's time to please go back to bed (HA), DST doesn't mean a lot to me or other moms, because nothing really changes. (Not when there are other folks and creatures in your house that don't understand the concept of DST, or time in general.) But whether we like it or not, DST is coming on Sunday, Nov. 4, this year. So make sure you tell your pets and your kids you want that extra hour of sleep this time. Maybe they'll listen, but I doubt it. Especially since I asked moms what their thoughts are on DST morning when their requests for more sleep are ignored by animals and children. (Let's just say I wasn't too terribly surprised with the answers I received.)
I asked my friend with a 2 year old what she thought of when she woke up for DST last year and what she'll probably think this year. The above was her response.
2. "I guess I don't get an extra hour today."
Of course you don't. You're a mom.
3. "OMG I'm late for work. Wait, no I'm not."
Nothing beats the feeling of realizing you have more time than you thought you did — except for maybe sleeping that extra hour.
4. "I'm a mom, we don't get an extra hour of sleep."
5. "Tell my infant he's supposed to sleep an hour longer, please."
If only they'd listen. Hell, I wish my 5 month old would listen to me when I tell him not to be afraid to poop or that it's OK when he rolls over in his sleep. Wouldn't life be so much easier if babies could and would listen to your requests?
6. "It's 5 a.m. Go Back to sleep, Todd."
And why are you even awake right now? Learn to tell time, son.
7. "All my clocks are finally right again."
For those of us hot mess moms who don't have time (or who don't care) to change their clocks every DST.
8. "I need all the coffee."
Please and thank you. Why is there never ever enough coffee on DST?
Why doesn't anyone in my house understand that the extra hour is for sleeping, not an extra hour of playtime?
10. "'I hate you so much right now,' to my husband who snores happily away with his useless nipples."
Damn those men and their useless nipples.
11. "I can't believe it's 5 a.m."
Shouldn't it be like, at least 6 a.m. or something? Why am I awake at this ungodly hour?
12. "I thought kids were supposed to make it easier to get up at the a** crack of dawn?"
They don't necessarily make you better at it, but rather force you to do it every single day. Some learn to love it. Others do not.
13. "At least I have time to make bacon."
This was a response I wasn't expecting, but I love her positivity.
14. "I hate people without kids."
And pets. Enjoy your extra hour of sleep, jerks. Try not to rub it in too hard when you see us other people with our extra large coffees and grimaces.
15. "Go pee on the pads." (She tells her dogs — not her kids.)
This is my line every single year to my two beagles. Maybe I'll use it on my baby, too.
16. "I should move to Hawaii."
Among other reasons to move there, Hawaii apparently doesn't "do" DST.
17. "Why are you waking me up when it's still dark outside?"
Oh. You want food, I guess.
18. "God, I'm the worst morning person ever."
Aren't we all, my friend.
19. "I can't."
Forever and ever, amen.
20. "Why did I have children?"