27 Tweets That Totally Nail Parenting Exhaustion
They say laughter is the best medicine and a large majority of people prefer to use humor to get through tough times. So it's no surprise that plenty of parents crack jokes during the trying times. If I'm being honest, though, I think the sleep-deprivation lends itself to delirium, and everyone's funnier when they're a bit delirious. In fact, there are so many hilarious parenting tweets about exhaustion, that it's reassuring to know you're not the only one who has had these thoughts when you're about to fall asleep in your over-sized mug of coffee.
How many times have you refused to have any kind of conversation before you've had some form of caffeine intake first? Raise your hand if you've totally put a non-food item (remote, eyeglasses, phone, etc.) in the fridge and not even noticed it until the next time you needed to get something out. Nod your head if "an uninterrupted nap" is at the top of your wish list for your birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas, anniversary, and any other holiday where gifts are involved.
Though a good night's rest is an essential ingredient in a human's ability to function, kids just scoff at science and continue to interrupt, delay, or otherwise ruin your sleep. Check out these funny tweets that perfectly capture the sleep struggle of parents everywhere.
1. Give "Leftovers" A New Meaning
Being a parent is eating a half chewed up dorito cause your kid doesn't want it anymore and you're too tired to get up to throw it away— Hingle McCringlberry (@CurtisConaway) May 16, 2016
Waste not, want not, right?
2. The Human Alarm Clock
Anybody else's kid drag them out of bed at 6:30 this morning?Having just one tired parent up wasn't good enough.— Nick Green (@nickgreen20) May 14, 2016
I get it, but did anyone else chuckle to themselves thinking that 6:30 would be considered sleeping in at your house?
3. Formula ≠ Coffee Ingredient
I just put baby formula in the coffee maker! #sleepyparent— Chris Flores (@Chris_JBMB) March 1, 2016
Let's hope they noticed before drinking the "coffee."
4. Opposite Day
I just poured my cereal + milk in my coffee mug and coffee in my cereal bowl. This morning's off to a good start. #sleepyparent— Caitlin Coakley (@CommuniCaitlin) May 17, 2012
You know, it probably wouldn't taste that bad. Who's got time to make a fresh bowl of cereal and mug of coffee anyways?
5. Parents Version Of First-Aid
Survival kit for being a sleep deprived parent: Coffee + Tylenol (extra strength). This shit is real.— Yeyem Nunez (@yeyempadilla) April 17, 2016
This should be in every parent's gift bag at their baby shower.
6. It's Not Like College Anymore
A sleep deprived parent is basically the same thing as being a drunk 21 year old, without the ability to sleep until noon the next day.— Michael Thurmon (@the_thurmonator) April 11, 2016
Another fact? You can't "call out of work" with a sleep hangover because your "office" is "home."
7. At Least You're Never Alone
Sleep-deprivation can actually be a great confidence booster.
You know you're a sleep deprived parent when you start to sing reworded Frozen songs late at night.— Sam (@sameika) March 31, 2016
You haven't earned your parenting badge until you've come up with your own words to songs from a kid's movie.
I can't judge Kanye. When I was a sleep-deprived parent of a newborn, I briefly thought the Star Wars prequels were good.— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) February 10, 2016
What if every bad decision ever made was really just the result of a sleep-deprived parent's poor decision-making skills?
10. RBF 2.0
My face has looked sleep deprived for so long now I think should be called "resting parent face."— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) February 7, 2016
"No, I'm not mad or sick. I just look this way now." Said every parent ever.
11. Solid Advice
Also a "you're doing great" probably goes a lot further to a sleep-deprived parent than "u shouldn't carry your one-week-old around so much"— Miss Oh Doe (@agoobwah) February 4, 2016
Compliments are best when they actually make the recipient feel better about things.
12. A Bed Never Looked So Good
I am a sleep-deprived parent in a hotel room, and so help me I will sprawl over this entire bed even if I have to dislocate a limb.— Paraic O'Donnell (@paraicodonnell) November 12, 2015
I don't know any parent who wouldn't take full advantage of a child-free night in bed.
13. You're Fired
I'm so sleep deprived that today at work I mistook a parent for a child and yelled at her — Taylor Karbowski (@taylorkarb) November 10, 2015
Let's hope your co-workers and employers are understanding of your sleep-deprived behavior.
Is there a TV show yet about a sleep-deprived single parent called The Walking Dad?— Nick Dawson (@thatnickdawson) November 10, 2015
Someone needs to cash in on this idea, ASAP.
15. Acceptance Is The Final Stage
Have tried and failed crying it out with my baby. Accepting fate as sleep-deprived attachment parent for the rest of my life.— Jennifer Clark (@JenShamean) October 30, 2015
Sometimes you just have to stop fighting against the current and float on.
16. Real Reality TV
There should be a show called American Ninja Parent. Obstacle courses, temper tantrums, poop volcanoes all while seriously sleep deprived.— Angela Michel (@AngMichel83) September 21, 2015
I would totally watch this show if it existed.
17. First Impressions
Allergies, sugar crash, sleep deprived. I should make a smashing impression on the other parent's at the kindergarten open house today.— Sarah Gioia (@sarah_gioia) August 20, 2015
Hopefully all the other parents are just as exhausted and won't notice anything.
18. The First Rule...
The third rule of #parentclub is never judge another sleep deprived parent...— Stacey Cann (@Sjcann) July 26, 2015
Definitely some solid rules to abide by — just don't talk about it.
19. Definition Of Irony
It's funny how much the parenting of young kids involves getting them to sleep when you the parent are severely sleep deprived yourself.— Maryellen (@melcolbrown) May 27, 2015
It's like some cruel joke of the universe that sleep is the goal but never your reward.
20. It's The Little Things
Caffeine makes the world go 'round.
21. You Can Only Choose One
Parenthood is basically a series of making difficult choices.
22. Living On The Edge
One of the side-effects of becoming a parent is that staying out past 9 makes you feel like a rebel. A very sleepy rebel.— Geeky Steven (@geekysteven) March 22, 2016
Bonus points if you're wearing grown-up clothes that don't have stains from your kids on them.
23. Delayed Reaction Time
You know you're a new parent when: Your response to "You have poop on your shirt." is a sleepy "Oh?"— Cait Fisher (@fishiecakes) December 4, 2015
Hey, crap happens — sometimes literally, sometimes metaphorically.
24. Panic Button
At 2AM a missing pacifier can be a source of panic for a sleepy parent— Stanley Singleton (@StanleSingleton) September 15, 2015
Perhaps the only thing scarier is stepping on a squeaky toy right after your child has fallen asleep.
No sleep till— Antoine Butler (@aebsr) September 6, 2015
No sleep till Empty Nest
No sleep till Empty Nest
- Sleepy Dads on License To Parent
If you ever wondered what the Beastie Boys would be like as parents, this may be it.
26. Auto Pilot
Can you really blame him, though? Some things just start to become habit after a while.
27. Most Kids Are Unapologetic Liars
It's a universal rule that children will fight off sleep even if they are falling face-first into their food.