I don't care what anyone says about the evils of social media, it totally saved me as a new mom. Instagram was my place to connect with other moms through pictures of our sweet babes and Facebook was the perfect platform to ask for advice from my friends and family. But Twitter? Well that's where I found all the funny parenting tweets that made me realize calling your kid who refused to eat the snack they just asked for a brat was totally OK.
Social media may have made it easier for parents to judge each other, but I think it's also made it easier to parent. When you're having a tough day, doesn't it help to hear another parent say that their kid also throws a fit if you offer them a blue cup instead of a green cup? Don't we all want to high five the mom who says she's counting down to bedtime so she can do something exciting like fold clothes without anyone stealing them to build a fort? And if you say you've never looked for someone to simply look at you and say, "Dude, this parenting sh*t sucks sometimes," I won't believe you.
Everyone needs to remind themselves once in a while that parenting can be super hard, but it can be hilarious in its challenges, too. These 49 funny parenting tweets will remind you that you're not alone in the #momlife and that everyone's fighting the same battle of the lost pacifier and loud, inappropriate children.
2When Grammar Nazis Become Moms
I mean, this is a legit fear. Nobody wants to be embarrassed by their kids' Facebook posts.
That moment when not one of your kids whines about their socks feeling funny when you're already late for school. YAS QUEEN YAS.
You fed both of them organic and no screen time until they were two and now look.
7Kids Say The Darndest Things
When you're just glad they kept their hands out of their pants all day.
8I Want A Refund
They told me I could eat cookies for breakfast and now my kids steal them and someone wiped snot on me and I want out of this.
12So That's A No, Then?
I managed to get the kids ready, put on make-up, and clean up the Happy Meal boxes from the backseat. What have you been doing?
16Why Does Pre-K Start So Early?
I mean, do kids have to be on time to school or is that like just a suggestion?
I once found my kid eating a stick of butter in the fridge and all I could think was how much money I was going to save on bread.
19Mom Shopping Takes Decades
One time, I outgrew all of my clothes while waiting on my mom to pick up a new set of dishes.
21I Can Get Behind This
Yeah, why? I'm going to cross stitch this on a pillow for my house. It applies to toddlers, too.
23I Always Ruin My Dinner
"Kid, didn't I just feed you?" Rummages in cabinet for my third snack since lunch.
24BEST! THING! EVER!
I wish I was half excited about life as toddlers are about bubbles, deflated balloons, and a non-sticky sticker.
25Discretion Is Key
Do you think this works at Chuck E. Cheese parties or would your SO not hear you over the sound of your soul dying?
33Hide The First-Aid Kit
Seriously. If you can, avoid ever giving your kids a band-aid because dear God, it never stops.
34Candyland Is Legit Frustrating
You know what, when you're almost at the end and you pull the card that makes you go all the way back to the beginning, I can understand why you'd need to cheat.
35The Dryer Works Harder Than Anyone
And just wait until you touch the snaps on a onesie straight out of the dryer or get branded with the straps on a pair of OshKosh B'gosh overalls. You just thought you knew pain.
37That Dollar Section Is A Trap
You think everything's so cheap until you realize you picked up too many "cheap" things and now none of your kids are going to college.
39Dominate While You Can
Soon you'll be saying things like, "In my day, you had to blow in your video games to make them work."
44When You Finally Train Your Kids
My toddler will now pick things up on low shelves for me at the grocery store and it's the best thing ever.
47Seriously, They Have No Idea
Of course you eat your vegetables, honey! Tell the doctor all about the organic, healthy diet I have you on and the hour-long playtime we have outside instead of laughing at cat videos on the iPad. TELL THEM.