After comedian Liz Miele caught her younger brother laughing at grotesquely misogynist sex jokes, like any good sister, she took it to the stage. The video of her stand up about feminist sex positions went viral, and even garnered her an illustrated series of feminist sex positions in Cosmopolitan, delegating how to be a boss in the bedroom to empowered women everywhere. Although both of these pieces by Miele are hysterical and mildly appealing (who hasn’t fantasized about the 16 Candles position at least once, am I right?), it got me thinking about sex as a feminist, and what it means.
I mean really, what does feminist sex entail? After a virtual round table of catching up with a few of my favorite feminists, the conclusion made was that feminist sex is consensual, empowering, and usually includes a good orgasm. Those were the common denominators in every conversation I had. Everything else? Let’s just say it varied greatly. Although there are plenty of ways to ensure you’re having feminist sex, I asked my fellow feminists to get specific, and they delivered. From the classics, to a few positions I’ve added to my personal to-do list, below, you’ll find seven feminist sex positions, from the varied sex lives of feminists all over the world.
1. Doggie Style
Olivia, 24: For some reason, I feel like I'm not supposed to like doggie style, but I really love it. Given the choice, it's my go-to.
Emma: My husband and I both particularly like doggy style, but does he like it because of the image of submissive female sexuality that he was conditioned to like as a teenager through porn, etc? [...] Whether or not the position is feminist inherently doesn't matter in the end — as long as it's being approached from a feminist sex-positive angle.
Angela, 34: Is this a boring answer? I don't know, and frankly I don't care. I love the missionary position, which for some reason tends to surprise my partners. I guess because I'm outgoing, men equate that with being outgoing when it comes to sex, too? But there's something about having my partner's weight on me that I really love, and makes me feel especially intimate. When I feel that level of intimacy, I feel comfortable, and I feel sexy.
3. Girl On Top
Molly, 31: I feel the most in control when I'm on top. In control of the situation, in control of my orgasm, and in control of the pace. I think my boyfriend likes it because of the view, but being on top is really all about me. Which sounds selfish? But feels super feminist, when I'm the one making the decisions.
4. Reverse Cowgirl
Erin, 29: It took us a few times to really get the hang of this position, but my boyfriend and I found that it's one of our favorite positions. Personally, I like it because it gives me easy access to my clitoris, so I have better control of how fast, or how slow, I get to my orgasm. It's definitely a position you have to be comfortable with your partner to really make work for you.
5. With A Pillow
Keely, 26: I like using a pillow, and lifting my pelvis up at an angle. It provides deeper penetration for my husband, which is beneficial for the both of us. It's also the only way we've ever come close to finding my G-spot.
6. Coital Alignment
Olivia, 24: I love missionary, but with a twist. When I can wrap my legs around his thighs or his waist and pull him closer to me, that's top notch. With his weight on top of me, the closer the better.
7. Against The Wall
Tricia, 27: My boyfriend and I are around the same height, so this position works for us. It's a fun way for us to switch things up, and I love that I can wrap myself around him, and lean into him if I want to stimulate my clit. It's also great for a quick round. I love that he's holding me up against the wall, for some reason it makes me feel awesome about myself, and not self conscious at all!
Any position can be a feminist sex position, when it comes down to it. As long as it's consensual, and you feel comfortable doing it. More power to you, and whatever you like in bed!