7 James Bond Parenting Tips That Don't Involve Downing A Shaken — Not Stirred — Martini
To many, James Bond is the epitome of cool. He’s smooth, cool under pressure, and saves the day while looking utterly dashing. Plus who wouldn’t want to be a secret agent with all the latest technology and gadgets at your disposal? And though he's not a father (though who knows what Spectre will bring), there are plenty of parenting lessons to take from James Bond.
Parenting is arguably one of the toughest obstacle courses any human can face. From torture techniques like sleep deprivation to the necessity of staying calm under pressure, problems faced in parenting are shockingly similar to those faced by 007 himself, James Bond.
Now, I'm not saying you should eject yourself from the car when you're stuck in traffic with screaming kids or drown your stress in a pitcher of dirty martinis (though there's no shame in having one or two). But his demeanor and attitude could come in handy when dealing with little ones. Because just like Bond, parents have to be able to think on their feet to avoid a dangerous meltdown — whether it be in the form of a nuclear reactor or a tantruming toddler. So here are James Bond’s seven solutions to parenting problems.
1. Play It Off
Every parent has encountered an embarrassing situation at some point. Your baby has just puked down the front of your shirt, but your cart is still full of necessary groceries. Just like Bond, you've got to roll with the punches and play it off like nothing happened. Who cares if the cashier gives you side eye anyways?
2. Get Your Caffeine
What does Bond do after a long night of being intellectually and physically drained? He gets himself a strong cup of coffee. Whether your child is still an infant or well on their way to grade school, sleepless nights are a common parenting problem, so it's best to be on a first name basis with your local barista.
3. Find The Silver Lining
You've dropped your phone, left your wallet at home, and realize that is definitely not a number one in your baby's diaper. When you want to break down under all the negativity, just think: WWBD? Even in the face of utter crisis, Bond always remains optimistic. Silver lining? At least the number two stayed inside your baby's diaper.
4. Ignore The Haters
From frenemies to rude strangers, it seems everyone has an opinion on the way a child should be raised and how you're doing it wrong. Bond suffers that same sort of criticism. From Q to M and even reliable Miss Moneypenny, everyone gives this agent a piece of their mind when they think he's going off course. But what does he do? He ignores it, and you should, too.
5. Stay Calm
Even with a laser threatening to split him in two, Bond doesn't break a sweat. And just like him, you can never let your mischievous kids see you scared. If you're at your wits' end and your children are pushing you to the breaking point, take a page out of 007's playbook and stay calm — even if that means hiding in the bathroom to collect yourself.
6. Communicate With Your Partner
Bond may not play particularly well with others, especially when someone is trying to tell him what to do. If your partner or friend insists on constantly critiquing your parenting style, you need to tell them how you're feeling in order to make the situation better. And if that doesn't work, give them a taste of some classic Bond sass.
7. Bond Rarely Gives AF
Above all else, Bond's sole focus is on completing the mission and he simply doesn't have time to care about much else. Just like 007, you know that your mission — raising a healthy, happy child — trumps everything. There isn't room for self-doubt, haters, fear or negativity when the world (or your parenting sanity) is at stake.