I'm not perfect, so sometimes my attempts at disciplining my kids don't go as planned. For the most part my parenting style is a true mix of good cop/bad cop, and it's not easy to straddle that line. I usually lean more to one side or the other, leaving my kids to wonder if I'm Jekyll or Hyde on any given day. That doesn't mean anyone gets a say in how I reprimand my children, though. In fact, there are more than a few questions no one gets to ask me when I'm disciplining my kid. At the top of that no-no list? Anything involving spanking. It's no offense to anyone who chooses to utilize that method, but I've done it a time or two and I've never, ever felt as though it fixes anything.
In my experience, all spanking (or any form of corporal punishment) does it fracture the relationship I have with my kids while simultaneously teaching them that hitting is the answer. Personally, that's not the lesson I want them to learn from whatever negative behavior or actions they've shown. I think there are better, more effective ways to right a wrong. As a result of my personal belief, I've implemented time-outs, restricted privileges, established an early bedtime when necessary, and use other, gentler methods of discipline when possible.
On the other side of the authority coin, I'm also the "yeller" in the family. I loathe this about myself, to be sure, and believe it comes from growing up in a household where I never felt heard. It catches my children's attention, sure, but their response isn't usually what I intend to elicit. I don't want them to cower or shut their eyes in fear of me or my voice. That doesn't teach them anything. I don't want them to feel misunderstood, or as though I've skipped right over establishing open lines of communication and jumped right to shouting or raising a hand (or whatever quick, short-sighted emotional response I choose in the moment).
I want my kids to respect me, and I've learned over the years that's not something I can demand. Instead, I have to lead by example. It takes practice — and, again, I'm not perfect — but if the end goal is to raise happy, well-adjusted kids that go into adulthood with the right emotional tools, it's important I continue to straddle that line between good cop and bad cop. This is why you don't get to ask me any of the below questions when I'm disciplining my kid.