With Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens opening on Dec. 18, everyone is in full on Star Wars mode. Fans all putting lightsabers on our Christmas lists, donning their Jedi robes, and wishing they could have an Ewok for a pet.
I know — Ewoks consider human flesh a delicacy and tried to set Han Solo aflame. But even so, Ewoks would make the ultimate pet. So long as you raise an Ewok from birth, you could raise it on a steady diet of non-human delicacies to keep it from wanting to eat you.
That being said, you also have to be respectful of your Ewok and appreciate their skills. In Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks had to be convinced by C-3PO, whom they thought was a god, that the rebels were not there to harm the Ewoks or do anything other than take down the Empire. The Ewoks, who had been prey for the Empire for quite some time, were then able to join the rebels as allies and basically bring down the Empire with their primitive weapons and their own skills. I mean, that's a pretty badass creature, right? You don't want to mess with Ewoks, but when you establish their trust and honor who they are and what they can bring to the table, well then they're pretty awesome little creatures to have around. These seven reasons prove that Ewoks would make the ultimate pet, regardless of their predatory behavior.
1They Keep You Grounded
They helped bring down the Empire with their primitive weapons and their simple ways. They are totally grounding and keep you from feeling a little too big for your britches. Kind of like when you're cat reminds you that you're not as cool as you think you are.
2They Are The Perfect Size
Chewbacca is adorable, sure, but who has the space to keep a giant Wookie? The Ewoks are about three feet tall and basically the size of a very hairy toddler. Perfect for an apartment, a mansion, or to tote around with you in Petsmart.
3They Will Protect You
Dogs may be good defenders, but do they carry giant spears and tackle things twice their size? No. No they do not.
4They Can Wear Adorable Clothes
Finally, a pet you can sew a robe and headscarf for that won't look at you like, well, like you just dressed them in a robe and headscarf. Imagine the Christmas fabrics.
5They Are Still A Bit Vulnerable
Ewoks may be total bad *sses, but they've also been prey for other hunters. Despite their ingenuity and street smarts to make them predators, they're also a little vulnerable and nervous from their days as prey. Nothing will make you feel better than your little Ewok cuddling up when they feel a little scared and you're their protector.
6They Know How To Party
Who doesn't want a little pet that can get down and party? The ending of Return of the Jedi finds Ewoks doing cartwheels, playing the drums on dead Stormtroopers' helmets, and dancing like crazy. I don't know about you, but my cat has never joined my kitchen dance party.