I can't remember a time I wasn't tired. A time when I didn't feel the kind of fatigue that comes with running a household, maintaining a career, and doing whatever keeps my mental, physical, and emotional state healthy. I'm busy, and while I prefer it to boredom I look forward to the end of the day when I can finally close my eyes. I know my partner's tired from work, and my kids from whining, but there are things every mom is thinking when you tell her you're tired and every person who knows an over-worked, under-appreciated mom needs to know what they run the risk of hearing if they lament about their so-called never-ending exhaustion.
I'm not pointing fingers here, but I've heard my fair share of "I'm so tired" from others who've not accomplished a fraction of the things I do before most have had their morning coffee. Immediately after having my youngest, I took on several (lengthy and demanding) writing projects with hard deadlines. I had to wake early to feed my new, not-sleeping-through-the-night baby, get my oldest ready for preschool, do all the meal and chores things, and get ahead on work before falling too far behind (because, you know, motherhood does that). It was a level of exhaustion I never experienced before, and it hasn't slowed down since.
I've come to accept my tired as a perpetual state of existence. This is just my life now. And while I understand that everything's relative and there are plenty of child-free people who are tired, too, I stand firm in my belief that no one is as tired as a mother. So, with that in mind, here's everything a mom is going to undoubtably think if you decide to go on and on about how tired you are:
When I walk into the coffee shop to order my giant, triple caffeinated latte, and one of the young workers speaks of their exhaustion from whatever fun thing they did over the weekend, I just can't. At a time I'm so desperate to feel awake (alive?), I really don't want to hear about carefree shenanigans that don't involve being awakened at midnight by a toddler who's thrown up all over himself.
"You Must Be Joking"
Sometimes I can't tell whether or not a person is kidding when they tell me how tired they are — and I know they haven't done half the things that would tire me out on any given day.
"How Can You Be Tired?"
Again with the young baristas, or the grocery bagger, or even my kids. I understand that "tired" is relative. What makes me winded might not be anything for an Olympian. Likewise, what the teen across the way complaining of being "so freakin' tired," may have a different genetic setup or a schedule that rivals mine. I don't know, and it's not really my business to judge. Seriously though, how can you be tired?
"Do You Know What I Do In A Day?"
I guess part of me likes being the "one-upper." Maybe it's because I rarely have anything to "one-up" anyone about, but the fact that I get so much done everyday is a feat that even I'm mystified by. It's obvious why I'm tired, but when people with less responsibilities chime in to compete with me, I feel the need to remind them of all I do.
Yes, it's not a contest, but if it was I would definitely win.
"I Can't Remember A Time I Wasn't Tired"
When someone says how much energy they have after staying up all night, or even from doing nothing, I reflect on all the days of my life and start to form an unnecessary comparison. Have I ever been fully awake? Maybe fatigue is so ingrained in me I don't know how to feel any other way. Regardless, if you've spent your day lying on the couch, daydreaming, please don't @ me with tired talk. Please.
If you're going to make a point to tell me how tired you are, and you don't have children and/or a demanding job and/or any number of things that make me want to nap, then tell me: why are so you tired? Would you like to test drive a day in my life to compare notes?
"All The Eye Rolls"
When I hear someone I know say they're "tired" from literally just being alive, I might not think anything of it. Then again, I might be thinking way too much and none of it's appropriate. That's when my trademark eye roll comes into play. When in doubt, just say nothing. After all, I need to conserve my energy for the next round of never-ending chores and responsibilities. #MomLife